A couple weeks ago, we got a puppy. She is a bundle of energy and always makes me laugh... She also makes me feel guilty sometimes. I play with her as much as I am able to, we wrestle, play with squeaky toys, I take her outside, brush her, and pet her a lot... but it tends to feel like its not enough. Like she deserves so much more. She needs to be trained, walked several times a day, properly groomed, and I am not able to meet these needs. Molls loves me unconditionally. She doesn’t mind that I leave her when I go to work, she is so excited I return home to her in the evenings. She doesn’t even mind that I kick her off my covers at night, because each morning the words “good morning Molly” sends her into happy fits! I am just crazy about Molls and I want her to have the absolute best care imaginable! I want her to be really happy...
A Friend of mine said that my anxiety of being an inadequate owner to her, could be the mirror of my own fear of being 'too much' for an Owner myself. I really do want to be a good slave. I want to make Someone proud of me, I want to focus on service and His pleasure, trusting Him to handle everything else. Every fiber of my being wants this, yet it is also something I fear I will not be able to accomplish... I know that I am a lot to deal with, even without the fibromyalgia complications. I am also aware of my own limitations as to what I could offer up in return for One’s mastery ~ so maybe my Friend is right?
No comments:
Post a Comment