Runaway Bride

I have seen 'Runaway Bride' a million times, but each time I watch it, I find something new that totally has me captivated. The movie is about a Yankee reporter (Richard Gere) is assigned to write a story about a country woman (Julia Roberts) who has left a string of fiances at the altar. He gets fired when she writes the editor, so he goes to her small town to prove he was right about her. Anyway.

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about creating/finding myself, sorting out what I really want/need versus what I think I may want/need. I tend to find myself paired up with guys who don't listen ~ or maybe I'm not the one listening to those little voices in my head telling me that he is so not right for me... I embrace compromise, but I don't want to lose myself either. In the movie, Maggie has this same problem! (Except I don't get to the aisle with the guy, but I do tend to back out of things rather quickly.)

Sometimes I can really relate to this next quote.

Maggie Carpenter: I wanted to tell you why I run - sometimes ride - away from things.
Ike Graham: Does it matter?
Maggie Carpenter: I think so.
[takes a deep breath]
Maggie Carpenter: When I was walking down the aisle, I was walking toward somebody who didn't have any idea who I really was. And it was only half the other person's fault, because I had done everything to convince him that I was exactly what he wanted. So it was good that I didn't go through with it because it would have been a lie. But you - you knew the real me.
Ike Graham: Yes, I did.
Maggie Carpenter: I didn't. And you being the one at the end of the aisle didn't just fix that.

I think within a power exchange relationship this often happens. The submissive/slave is so eager for the Dominant's approval that she may contort who she truly is into something that He desires. While, technically, this is one way that D/s can be viewed, it isn't the nature of the lifestyle. At least, not my lifestyle.

I have done it before, completely sacrificed everything about myself for someone else in an attempt to hold onto that Person's attention/affection... but I was dropped quickly, for someone else who came along who offered something new. I have also lost potential partners because of my own desires to hold onto what makes me 'me', not wanting to change myself/my personality just to 'fit' with another.

Maybe the secret is that first, we find ourselves... and then introduce that 'true self' to Another, then it wouldn't matter if someone else liked 'me' because I would like myself...

This part of the movie always makes me tear up in some fashion. It is just romantically sweet... and I love how realistic it is. I'm not one for the mushy shit found in most lyrics or hallmark cards, but... this is beautiful:

Maggie Carpenter: I love you, Homer Eisenhower Graham. Will you marry me?
Ike Graham: I... I've got to think about this a little bit.
Maggie Carpenter: Good. I was hoping you'd say that.
Ike Graham: [laughing] You were not!
Maggie Carpenter: I was, because if you said "yes" right away, then I wouldn't get to say this next part, and I've been practicing.
[Maggie sits down, clears her throat]
Maggie Carpenter: Ready?
Ike Graham: I'm listening.
Maggie Carpenter: I guarantee there'll be tough times. I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us is going to want get out. But I also guarantee... that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart... you're the only one for me.