Needy Clingy

Needy
Clingy
Demanding
Unrealistic
Attention-whore
Manipulative
Bothersome
Distraction
Intrusive
Interrupting
Inconvenient
Pestering
Nuisance
Needy
Clingy

It’s amazing how two little words can bring up so many negative connotations, emotions, and that instant stomach tightening going to be sick feeling. It has been ingrained in me for as long as I can remember not to bother a person, just because I would like someone’s attention doesn’t mean I have the right to request it. This has been confirmed to me repeatedly in my relationships as an adult. Imagine my surprise when MathMan tells me that he LIKES needy/clingy. I don’t understand how that can be seen in a positive light, and I don’t like how disgusted it makes me feel with myself… because all I can see are these desperate attempts that beg for a moment of his notice, when my head is saying ‘if He wanted to talk to you stupid, he would talk to you! Leave Him alone, He’s busy.’

I hate when I am feeling those needy/clingy desires, that ache to be in constant contact, that need to be as close as possible… that overwhelming sense of aloneness that lingers overhead ~ as if my very life depended on hearing His voice. All I can hear are those old tapes, telling me inconvenient I am, what a bother I am being, and that I shouldn’t hassle Him or He will go on to someone who will give Him space.

My puppy had surgery recently, and when she got home she was up under me ALL of the time. I’ve never been the kind of girl who wants anyone up under my feet nor do I want to be up under someone’s feet all the time. I didn’t mind, I knew the spay had been traumatic for her and she was in pain, so I enjoyed her being close... I felt as though being near me might offer her comfort or reassurance, so I encouraged her. It felt good that she picked me to be close to, to follow around, and lay against. I enjoyed that quiet time with her, felt our bond strengthen. I didn’t realize it until a day or two later, when Pixie asked if the puppy was still being clingy... Yes she was, and surprisingly, I didn’t mind. Suddenly, I started thinking that maybe, some People do see needy/clingy in different ways... which of course made me think of MathMan… makes me very curious what He feels/thinks when the girl is ‘needy clingy’.