Teary Thoughts

It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before
Now I don't wanna beg you baby
For something maybe you could never give
I'm not looking for the rest of your life
I just want another chance to live
Thoughts better left unexpressed... 

Feeling this way is isolating...  ..... even moreso when its your birthday.

Brand New Me - Alicia Keys

Brand New Me

Sung by:  Alicia Keys

(last part of the song/lyrics)

Hey, if you were a friend
You'd wanna get to know me again
If you were worth the while
You'd be happy to see me smile
I'm not expecting sorry
I'm too busy finding myself
I got this
I found me, I found me, yeah

I don't need your opinion
I'm not waiting for your "OK"
I'll never be perfect,
But at least now I'm brave
I know my heart is open
I can finally breathe
Don't be mad
It's just a brand new kinda free
That ain't bad
I found a brand new kinda me
Don't be mad
It's a brand new time for me

Wobble

This song has me dancing today!  



The sun is shining and its been a good week so far, with music that inspires me to smile its turning out to be a great day.

V.I.C. singing Wobble. 

Undisclosed Desires

 

Undisclosed Desires

Sung by Muse

I know you've suffered

But I don't want you to hide

It's cold and loveless

I won't let you be denied

Soothing

I'll make you feel pure

Trust me

You can be sure

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

You trick your lovers

That you're wicked and divine

You may be a sinner

But your innocence is mine

Please me

Show me how it's done

Tease me

You are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

Please me

Show me how it's done

Trust me

You are the one

I want to reconcile the violence in your heart

I want to recognise your beauty's not just a mask

I want to exorcise the demons from your past

I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart

untitled.

I miss you Mom.

A Decade Ago

I remember exactly where I was at... I remember exactly what I was doing... I remember exactly what I did when I heard the news...  But I don't remember it feeling like this.  Perhaps I didn't truly understand what it meant or what it would mean back then... Maybe I was in shock... All I know, is that this tribute truly took my breath away.  


I cannot imagine what this.... The pictures in this video are powerful, paired with this song truly touch my very soul... I'm not sure what would have been worse... to be a family member of a victim, a hero, or those families... who still don't know.  I have never been so thankful to God that my family was kept safe and is safe.  My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those effected by the events of 9/11.... and I will continue to pray for those who are and will be serving our country... families and soldiers alike.  Not just today, but everyday.  

A Fine Frenzy- Whisper

Eager to please,

Trying to be what they need

But I'm so very tired

I've stopped trying to find

Any peace in my mind

Because it tangles the wires

Whisper

Sung by A Fine Frenzy

Running the race

Like a mouse in a cage

Getting nowhere but I'm trying

Forging ahead

But I'm stuck in the bed

That I made so I'm lying

But if you keep real close

Yeah, you stay real close

I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper

In a daydream on a hill

Shut down to a whisper

Can you hear me still

Eager to please,

Trying to be what they need

But I'm so very tired

I've stopped trying to find

Any peace in my mind

Because it tangles the wires

But if you keep real close

Yeah, you stay real close

I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper

In a daydream on a hill

Shut down to a whisper

Can you hear me

Can you hear me still

The sound tires on my lips

To fade away into forgetting

I'm down to a whisper

In a daydream on a hill

Shut down to a whisper

Can you hear me

Can you hear me

I'm down to a whisper

In a daydream on a hill

Shut down to a whisper

Can you hear me

Can you hear me still

Defying Gravity

This is an old song I fell in love with during college... Unfortunately when I was looking for a good clip on youtube this is the best one I could find tonight. I like that Glee redid it, brought the message back to a whole new group of people.  But the best version is by Idina Menzel. It's just difficult to find a good version of her singing it on youtube :)

Defying Gravity

Soemthing has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye I am defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

I'm through accepting limits

'cause someone says they're so

Somethings I cannot change

But till I try, I'll never know!

Too long I've been afraid of

Losing love I guess I've lost

Well, if that's love

It comes at much too high a cost!

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

I'd sooner buy defying gravity

Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity

I think I'll try defying gravity

And you won't bring me down!

Bring me down!

Oohh oh ohh

I've always been touched by this song but this time around, it brings something else to the surface... I truly am tired of playing by the rules of someone else's game... what's the worst that could happen if I "trust my instincts / Close my eyes: and leap"? 

Cowboy Take Me Away

I have had this song on my mind all day... maybe it is because of my family is going through a crisis... maybe its because i'm exhausted (physically and emotionally)... either way... now would be a good time to be rescued... even just for a few minutes...

Cowboy Take Me Away

Dixie Chicks

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly

I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of blue bonnets
And a blanket made of stars

Oh it sounds good to me

I said cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above
And closer to you
Closer to you

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile

Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above
And closer to you
Closer to you

I said I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something wild and unruly
Oh it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above
And closer to you
Closer to you

Closer to you

Cowboy take me away

Closer to you

The Woman with You

I have so many hats, obligations, responsibilities, and I have very little time to rest... forget 'me' time or time to blog... I haven't been able to talk to Pixie in days it feels like, if not a week or more... It's not that I mind or am complaining, I'm blessed to have a job I enjoy even if it keeps me busy, a family that loves me, even though I'm exhausted, and a full life... 


Things have been...  But to be able to fit in a few moments alone with Someone special... The only way I know how to communicate it is with this video/song lyrics.



 

The Woman with You by Kenny Chesney

I just wish it could last longer than a few hours...  

Just by Being You (Halo and Wings)

This song speaks so strongly to my little girl side, whenever I hear it on the radio I almost always cry... This afternoon, as I listened to it while in the shower... I knew I had to share.







Just by Being You (Halo and Wings)Sung by Steel Magnolia
Let's run away Where nothing stands between me and you Let's find a place Somewhere a little closer to a dream And call it a home Where there's no right and wrong And we can be all alone 
Chorus And I'll take off my halo If you take off your wings. You don't have to be invincible Cause I sure ain't no saint You'll always be my angel No matter what you do, Cause you take me to heaven just by being you 
Tell me a secret Tell me things no one else should know Even in your weakness Baby drop your guard just let it go Until everything's exposed And you don't have to feel ashamed Baby just say my name 
Chorus 
When I see you standing there You know it all becomes so clear The way you look The way you touch I need the way you lift me up This will never feel complete Until there's nothing in between And we have brought down every wall And baby, baby, baby lets just fall 
Chorus 
Oh You take me to heaven Just by being you 
Let's run away Let's run away

Country Strong

Country Strong

Sung by Gwyneth Paltrow

For the movie, Country Strong.

I know you see me

Like some wide eyed dreamer

That just rolled in off a dusty mid west bus

Yeah, on the outside I look fragile

But on the inside is something you can’t crush

Cause I'm country strong

Hard to break

Like the ground I grew up on

You may fool me

And I'll fall

But I won’t stay down long

Cause I’m country strong

I have weathered

Colder winters; Longer summers

Without a drop of rain

Push me in a corner

And I’ll come out fighting

I may lose but I‘ll always keep my faith

Cause I’m country strong

Hard to break

Like the ground I grew up on

You may fool me

And I’ll fall

But I won’t stay down long

Cause I’m country strong

Cause I’m country strong

Hard to break

Like the ground I grew up on

You may fool me

And I’ll fall

But I won’t stay down long

Cause I’m country strong

I’m country strong

Yeah, I’m country strong

I’m country strong

I’m country strong

I’m country strong

I belong to me

Its been a rough week or so at work and tonight, too much on my mind to sleep... so I started watching a few different music videos on youtube. Normally I'm not a huge Jessica Simpson fan, but I stumbled across this song/video. It brings tears and seems to... something about it truly connects to my heart right now. The words are beautiful and inspiring and the music is an easy beat to let go to... The thing is, it is contradictory to the true desires of my heart... I think.

As a submissive with slave tendencies, I do have a deep desire to belong to Someone who not only can mold me but also master me. But, while I am single, I am truly doing my best to take care of myself, take responsibility for my own choices/consequences, and I don't want to have to totally lose myself in a relationship anymore... While a dominant man will mold me to what pleases Him, I still want to be me... I still need to be me. I learned the hard way, a long time ago, that until I give myself to someone else... I do belong to me.

This post may not make much sense, especially shared so quickly after some of my other entries... but maybe its because I'm very lost right now.

This song, these lyrics, touched me too deeply for me not to share.

I belong to me

Sung by Jessica Simpson

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you, baby

It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to, baby

And I won't give up me to be part of you

It's not that I don't want to have you in my life, baby

It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right, baby

Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me

I complete myself

Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me

I don't belong to you

My heart is my possession

I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me

I'm one, not half of two

And if you're gonna love me

You should know this, baby

That I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby

That who I am is not about who I am with, baby

That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you, I do

I don't need somebody to complete me

I want you to know

I'll give all my love but I'm not givin' all my soul

I belong to me

I don't belong to you

My heart is my possession

I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me

I'm one, not half of two

And if you're gonna love me

You should know this, baby

That I belong to me

Love don't mean changin' who you are

To be who somebody wants you to be

Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me

I don't belong to you

My heart is my possession

I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me

I don't belong to you

My heart is my possession

I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me

I'm one, not half of two

And if you're gonna love me

You should know this, baby

That I belong to me

One Step Closer to You

This song brings me to tears every time I hear it. It it is about something that I desire in a relationship, the need to meet half way... the burn to remain connected... the drive to stay 'together' in a world that does it's best to rip happiness apart. Yes, I want this someday.

Right now, Pixie and her SirD are finding it... and its beautiful. So for right now, I dedicate this song to Them.

I love you sis.

One Step Closer to You

Sung by Michael Franti & Spearhead

I've been down for far too long

Till my faith was nearly gone

I never knew somebody just like you

Could be a friend I could call my own

Till I let go of a broken heart

I let go to an open heart

I let go of my broken dreams

I let go to the mystery

And I believe in the miracle

I believe in the spiritual

I believe in the one above

I believe in the one I love

And take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I've fallen down

My heart says follow through

And I take one step closer to you

I never meant to hurt you no

And you never meant to hurt me too

But it seems like we always do

And even though I'm scared sometimes

If I ever see you falling down

I'll be the one that's there for you

So I let go of a broken heart

I let go to an open heart

I let go of my broken dreams

I let go to the mystery

And I believe in the miracle

I believe in the spiritual

I believe in the One above

I believe in the One I love

And take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I’ve fallen down

My heart says follow through

I take one step closer to you

I'm walking; I keep on walking to you

I keep on walking to you

I’m walking, I keep on walking to you

I’m walking and I’m never going to stop now

I just take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I’m fallen down

My heart says follow through

I’ll take one step closer

I’ll take two steps closer

Just take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

And even when I’ve fallen down

My heart says follow through

I take one step closer to you

So Small

I've heard this song a thousand times, but this morning, catching the video, touched me in a very new way... It really speaks to me and how I've been struggling lately... it gives me hope that the dawn is coming... I just have to make it through the dark..

It was a month today. The nightmares have stopped but my fibro has gotten worse. Grace's recovery is going well but my job is beyond overwhelming... I'm just totally drained, emotionally physically and mentally. This song helps, the words are so true... Sometimes those things that trip us the most, are so small in the end...

So Small, by Carrie Underwood

.

Something's Gotta Give

Something's Gotta Give

Sung by LeAnn Rimes

Jenny got a job, a cat named Jake,

31 candles on her birthday cake

Next year

Thought by now she'd have a man

Two car seats and a minivan

But it still ain't here (hey!)

(Instrumental)

Alright

(Instrumental)

She's been lookin' for Mr. Right so long

But all she found is Mr. Wrong

and That's the pitts

She's drawn a line that she won't cross

Her and time are facing off

She says something's gotta give

(Chorus)

Somethin gotta give me butterflies

Somethin gotta make me feel alive

yeah,

Somethin gotta give me dreams at night

Somethin gotta make me feel alright

I don't know where it is

Yeah but something's gotta give

Friday night she had a date

Cell phone junky half hour late

That's the biz baby

She's riding out this twist of fate

She's had all that she can take

She says something's gotta give

(repeat chorus)

I swear

There's got to be a meant to be for me out there

Somewhere someday

I'm gonna find someone, somehow, someway

Instrumental

alright

Yeahehe

Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,

31 candles on her birthday cake

Next year

She thought by now she'd have a man

Two car seats and a minivan

She says something's gottta,

Something's gotta,

Something's gotta give

I don't know where it is

Yeah but something's gotta

I don't know where it is

Yeah but something's gotta

I don't know where it is

Yeah but something's gotta give

Oh somethings gotta give