PSA on Proper Ettiquette

Hello Sir. Please Sir may Sir a Sir girl Sir blog Sir? Sir, thank Sir You Sir for Sir allowing Sir a Sir inferior Sir girl Sir to Sir blog Sir.

Although I i am always open to learning new ways to be pleasing, I i was given an "etiquette lesson" today that drove me crazy. I i should have seen the signs, but this time the guy GUY got by me... for about fifteen seconds.

First, 'in order to ensure I i was worth his HIS attention', He grilled me on the protocol I i may have picked up over my time in 'the lifestyle'. Did I i know to appropriately capitalize ANYTHING that might refer to HIM in the big huge dom-ly masculine letters? Which on the flip side, meant that anything relating to myself should be in tiny little itty bitty insignificant and extremely inferior letters... because he He HE is so SUPERIOR.

Secondly, he HE chastised me for not using 'SIR' enough in my statements. 'It is to be used every few words, slave, at the beginning and end of every sentence!' So in an attempt to be funny/cute, I i piped up with 'Yes Sir SIR, thank YOU SIR for teaching this stupid girl SIR.' However, he HE took it that I i was 'easily trainable'.

So when I i sought out clarification from him HIM on this --- no wait, that was a mistake too because I i didn't beg HIM for HIS BAST MASTERLY permission to cast my tiny womanly question into the ring where he HE might need to read them... (which I i was corrected yet AGAIN by the ALL POWERFUL COLLARMEGOD for having the gall to dare question anything a kid MAN has to say...)

(Yes by this time, I was clearly fucking with him.)

So after I i corrected my ignorant ways and properly pleaded for HIS permission to open my mouth with a question, he HE decided in HIS ALL MIGHTY KNOWING OF EVERYTHING UNDER THE SUN that my question was irreverent anyway as a lowly female life form cannot possibly have anything to say of interest to this ass ASS -- err MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE.

Funny, I thought that position was already taken.




At the risk of sounding like a bitch:

To those new Folks out there, this would be a major "Masterly Conversation DO NOT ATTEMPT AT HOME EVER" because clearly he needed to see all the CAPS and verbal cowering to know his position. If you are that easily swayed from your self-image, then perhaps you should stay on the porch. And if you do this, stop immediately because people (like me) are laughing at you, not with you.

That concludes my public service announcement.