“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” - T. S. EliotThere are different distances one can go, both with another and within oneself. Some say that once a girl gets to the point where she is willing to go wherever He takes her, she has tapped into her true surrender. Others point out that it could be a cop out, so she doesn’t have to open herself up completely for His control... I have never been too sure how I felt about this topic until today. I was speaking with a Friend who stated that He wants both... to be exposed to every single secret within the girl then direct her where He wishes to take her. I didn’t think that both could co-exist, because some of us were taught that it is selfish to have your own needs/wants when the focus should be always on His.
Could that be the point of slavery, where very dirty little humiliating thought, every secret whorish desire, every exhausting fear is laid at His feet so that He may navigate her to where He desires her to be? Or is it the sacrifice of herself at His feet? Can she have her own quiet kinks met while being a willing vessel to His desires? Would he be able to take control of her completely by using her once-concealed wants to be pleasing to Him? Will the girl truly be His if she keeps those parts of herself tucked in a dark corner and away from Him?
If the girl doesn't have the courage to stop lying to herself and embrace who she is, want she desires, and things she fears... how can she embrace what He truly wants? Keeping those parts of herself locked away only leaves a barrier around her mind, her heart, her body... how can He claim her completely when she isn't offering herself wholly?
Call me greedy... but I want both. I need to be honest with myself, as much as I need to be honest with a Master. I want to be able to be myself wholeheartedly and Him want that for me. I need Him to guide me through my own fears, examining my needs, using my secrets to not only to be pleasing to Him, but to help me grow...
1 comment:
So my little amber, is this where you have been hiding? I haven't heard from you in some time. I was hoping that you hadn't lost interested in me, or worse yet that I might have frightened you away. Reading your post here I was initially thinkng that I had scared you off; but as I read further I discovered that you do need desperately to not only be exposed enntirely but also yearn to be controlled and enslved by using my knowledge of your forbidden self. It is as if you are afraid and ashamed of what lies within you: that somehow your dark, sick, twisted yearnings, desires and cravings make you yourself less desirable; but at the same time you want to be "free" of your pervissions by some One wrenching it out from you, exposing them in front of you, and forcing you to acknowledge them, give thanks to them, and in turn give thanks and praise to the One who would dare to delve that deep into you to expose that side of you, lay claim to them, turn them into my own goals for you and make them into my perverse pleasures. You want your desires to become your Masters desires so that you do not feel so guilty to have them fulfilled; so you could convince yourself that although you are in effect accomplishing your own dark, twisted dreams and desires, that you are not doing them are having them done to you for your own sake and fulfillment, but rather that you are fulfilling your Masters dreams and desires; that they happen to be yours is an added bonus. You want that last bit of control and self identity stripped from you, because every free man has the right to dream, yet a free man (or woman in your case) is precisely what you do NOT wish to be. You wish complete and total enslavement: for your identity to be stripped from you and for you to simply be what your Master wishes you to be; all that includes your dreams to be stripped from you, and may it be by your Master's good graces that your desires might still be fulfill if only in His name and NOT in yours.
Okay this turned out to be EXTREMELY long: longer than I intended.
In cases you didn't notice this is Christopher (a.k.a.: DedicatedMaster). I am hoping you are doing well. I am still waiting for a message from you. Do your best not to disappoint me ;)
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