Steamy Confession

Dear Diary,

It happened again! This time it was so much more intense... the first strike against my flesh almost brought tears to my eyes, yet as the blows rained down onto my body, the masochist within awakened... her voice overriding my own... The warmth soaked within to ignited scorching lava to course through my veins. Searing bites roused rosy splotches to pale canvas, fire was set to my body, heat within matching the fierceness of the attack. Turning this way and that, nothing was safe ~ my ass, breasts, thighs, back, and arms were unable to escape each strike! Painslut rears her head, muffled cries of surrender drown out by the echo of each hit, fingers curl around the bar as knees go weak, unable to control the lewd responses of my own body...

I can't think.

I can't breathe.

I hate this!

I love this!

I feel humiliated!

I feel like ‘myself’ again.

I feel so embarrassed!

I feel so alive!

Yet I hear the alarm, indicating that my time is growing short... with a shaky breath, I turn around slowly, savoring the last of this harsh pleasure... and turn the water temperature down just a little bit so that I can finish my shower and make it to work.

I have just become a morning person.

~elana

I’m not sure what exactly is causing this response... I have heard from others that fibromyalgia makes one’s body hyper-sensitive, in all ways, not just with the pain. By my own choice, I have not taken an intimate Partner since I have began truly dealing with the fibromyalgia/lupus. I am working on accepting this ‘new person’ as me, with my new limitations and whatnot. However, I have heard that pleasure is also intensified by this condition... I have heard that women who were once ‘cold’ in the bedroom have become multi-orgasmic, those numb to sensations are now easily aroused. All I know is that lately... my favorite time of the day is beneath the hot water of the spray jet in the shower, it is as if my entire world not only stops but shrinks down... so there is nothing but the extreme sensations taking over my body.

So we shall see... someday.