So, the scene - Dom and sub have negotiated specific relationship boundaries. They are monogamous and there is no room for outside play or relationships. They are not poly. The sub suspects the Dom of, if not outright cheating, at least talking to someone else, possibly leaning in that direction. What do you believe constitutes the way the situation should be handled from the sub's perspective?
Why does the girl feel He is cheating? Is there evidence to support the fact that His interests are elsewhere? Or does she feel insecure in her own ability to please Him, and convinced herself that He is still searching? Or maybe the Guy is just dense and doesn’t realize that His toying with others is hurting his primary? Cheating, although wrong, is not the issue most of the time it is a symptom of bigger problems in a relationship.
I work very hard to try and discover the reason behind my desire to snoop. If I cannot figure out what it is I need or am looking for, I will address it directly with the One I am in a relationship with. Lets be honest, if I cannot be direct and honest with someone then why am I letting Him control me?!
I am the kind of girl who will ask permission to address something bluntly with Him, and then ask for guidance because of this feeling of distrust that is coming between us. After that conversation, if I am still convinced that something stinky is going on, it is up to me to decide to trust Him or not. If I make the choice to trust Him, then I stop questioning Him. However, if I decide that it is something I cannot do, I have no other choice than to end things.
I do not snoop. Period. I have too much self-respect (and a temper) for that. No offense is meant to you snoopers out there, but I don’t play that cat-n-mouse game. Anything that is discovered (or isn’t discovered) during the act of spying will not be seen in the right light and everything will become a tool that the snooper uses to dig herself deeper into the hole. When you go looking for dirt, you will always find it because that is the keyhole you are looking through.
I have learned the very hard way that if I cannot trust my Partner for one thing, then the more important things should not be trusted with Him either. If I cannot believe that someone is honoring our agreement of monogamy, then He will not respect our decision of limits. And as my own personal pet peeve, a cheating Partner is putting my health in jeopardy, by sexually fooling around with someone who has heavens knows what. Not to mention what being with someone you cannot trust does to your mind. If I sincerely believe that He has crossed that line into cheating, then he is not worth the risk of my sexual or emotional health.
To address another issue brought up in this discussion, I do not think it is a double standard for a Master to have access to my conversations without allowing me the same in return. That is as different as night and day. You are correct that there can be no untruths between Master and slave. An Owner does not keep notice of my interactions because He doesn’t trust me, it is to help Him guide me. How can a Man be in control over someone when He doesn’t know what is going on? The choice of seeing every word I type is up to Him, but it has to be for the right reasons. Do I want to read every word that crosses His computer screen? No, I don’t. That will take my focus from Him and my service to Him and put it on how He interacts with everyone else. If that makes sense?
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