Lonely

I've been kind of lonely. Thing is, I have been dealing with a major fibro flareup for several weeks now. The pain is so intense sometimes, that every little thing is difficult. I cry a lot, not only because I'm hurting but also because I can't rest. And then, when I am beginning to pull out of it, I realize that I'm not as sensitive and can run my fingers over my shoulders or something... That's when I start to miss being touched. Not sexually, just... touched. I know part of a natural response to chronic pain is a sort of emotional roller coaster, but I am never prepared for the touched-starved feeling that follows. It leaves me very vulnerable.

I'm really not crazy. Most of the time I am level headed and I don't open up easily. Maybe that is why being this... emotionally raw is so unsettling?