It seems to me that manners seem to be longing in most BDSM relationships. Why is it that "please" and "thank you" are not used by Masters when ordering their slaves? i would think some of the reasoning might be because they shouldn't have to say please, but in polite modern society shouldn't we all?
For those with young children in their midst - Do you say please and thank you around your children? Will they learn manners if you don't?
Just curious what others do..
I love the saying, "Etiquette is outward facing, and protocol is inward facing."
Manners are HUGE for me. I serve because I need too, but that smile and “thank you” from an Owner reminds me of my focus. . . to serve Him.
In my humble opinion, showing respect is not limited to just a slave and it does not question One’s ability to maintain control. Those who are so caught up in the wording of a sentence, and make judgments based on those misconceptions. With all due respect, people either get it or they don’t. If someone doesn’t understand that someone who says ‘thank you’ is still a Master, then he or she just doesn’t get it.
Being brought up in a small town in the South, being polite is a sign of self-respect. Which is probably why Sir/Ma'am comes to my lips easily and often, even with vanilla friends or someone who is just helping me in general. I think that is why this is such an issue for me. So if a Guy doesn’t respect Himself enough to say ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ at times, why should I respect Him enough to call Him ‘Master’?
Granted, my Owners in the past have not always say please or thank you. But I will admit that I had stronger responses to Those who did, because an iron hand can have a velvet touch sometimes. It doesn’t make the hand less rigid or defined. Besides, I whole-heartedly feel that the intensity of the request does not need to be done in a harsh loud voice. Its like that expression “True power whispers, it doesn’t need to yell.” So a please or thank you will not make it more of a ‘request’ when the underlying power communicates it is an order. Plus ‘that commanding whisper’ throwing in a ‘please’ can be a most delicious mind-fuck...
As far as it having an effect on children within the relationship: Using manners together as a family unit (and with others outside of that unit) will teach your daughter that etiquette is important no matter who or where you are. Children are sponges and cannot help but absorb their environment, as parents it is a priority to make sure that includes positive aspects of childhood, like being polite.
Then again, I tend to side with the ‘nurture’ side of most things. :)
Manners are HUGE for me. I serve because I need too, but that smile and “thank you” from an Owner reminds me of my focus. . . to serve Him.
In my humble opinion, showing respect is not limited to just a slave and it does not question One’s ability to maintain control. Those who are so caught up in the wording of a sentence, and make judgments based on those misconceptions. With all due respect, people either get it or they don’t. If someone doesn’t understand that someone who says ‘thank you’ is still a Master, then he or she just doesn’t get it.
Being brought up in a small town in the South, being polite is a sign of self-respect. Which is probably why Sir/Ma'am comes to my lips easily and often, even with vanilla friends or someone who is just helping me in general. I think that is why this is such an issue for me. So if a Guy doesn’t respect Himself enough to say ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ at times, why should I respect Him enough to call Him ‘Master’?
Granted, my Owners in the past have not always say please or thank you. But I will admit that I had stronger responses to Those who did, because an iron hand can have a velvet touch sometimes. It doesn’t make the hand less rigid or defined. Besides, I whole-heartedly feel that the intensity of the request does not need to be done in a harsh loud voice. Its like that expression “True power whispers, it doesn’t need to yell.” So a please or thank you will not make it more of a ‘request’ when the underlying power communicates it is an order. Plus ‘that commanding whisper’ throwing in a ‘please’ can be a most delicious mind-fuck...
As far as it having an effect on children within the relationship: Using manners together as a family unit (and with others outside of that unit) will teach your daughter that etiquette is important no matter who or where you are. Children are sponges and cannot help but absorb their environment, as parents it is a priority to make sure that includes positive aspects of childhood, like being polite.
Then again, I tend to side with the ‘nurture’ side of most things. :)
Elana's slightly edited response to
an interesting group post/discussion on FL.
an interesting group post/discussion on FL.
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