Intimacy...

I wonder if this is how people always get close: They heal each other's wounds; they repair the broken skin. 

- Lauren Oliver, Pandemonium

I think its more about quietening the other person's demons... a merging of souls so that the broken cracks are now filled with life and hope...  

I've always been super quiet about my romantic side, well except for the times it has came out on this blog... but I find myself thinking about it more and more lately... I don't know if I'm hoping for something like this or using these thoughts to shield myself from those I meet... 

I hate the way that conversations I have now are good at first but then five minutes in, I'm totally bored.  I hate those quiet awkward silences where no matter what topic I bring up the guy says "uh ha yeah, so you're cute."  Or just keep saying "so when can I hold you?"  Uh... if you can't hold a conversation with me for more than five minutes then you aren't going to hold my body anytime soon.  That makes me sound like a total bitch but I just.... I need someone who can capture my attention and that I have his.  


Update: Crazy scattered, sorry! 

Plugging Away

I've always been a bit curious about butt plugs.  I have some minor experience with them, but find myself wondering about them more and more.  I know plenty of people who use them, have them, enjoy them, and I even know a few people that hate them. 

I know a couple of furries who consider a tail plug to be part of their costume/persona.  That's totally cool and interesting, I've been curious about having one but don't feel it would really be worth the price of it.  At least, not for me... I don't really have a furry connection.  I do have my moments of kittenish behavior, but not enough for a financial purchase of that nature.  For me, the actual tail part would get in my way I think... 


The last one to catch my fancy is the jeweled plugs.  Even though I'm not exactly a girly girl, I think I like them.  Look how cute they look!  I also kind of like the fact that it can be used for so many horrible things and still look so feminine.

Of course in my imagination, the plug is slipped in to help warm up her ass for His enjoyment... Whether a toy or His own flesh, the plug could be both pleasurable and a stretcher to encourage her readiness for Him. 

Then again, maybe He slips the plug in place once He has released inside of her, to help keep her from wasting His gift.

I know several who are drawn to the humiliation aspect of butt plugs.  I imagine wearing it out in public would be very uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally/mentally... I'm not so sure I would want to go to that point, perhaps if the One I served really wanted it and I felt that level of safe with Him that I could.... then I would obey, of course.  

Love

"I think... if it is true 
that there are as many minds 
as there are heads, 
then there are as many 
kinds of love as there are hearts." 

- Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

Don't let anyone else tell you how to love.

Happy Valentine's Day

Unconditional Love in 2011

"Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment." - Sidney Poitier


I have been giving this a lot of thought and I want to live consciously this year. This means that in order to do this, I will have to open my heart to unconditional love. Yes I love my puppy, my family/friends, and my job... but I want to learn to love me again, unconditionally.  Only then will my heart be ready to love another and allow him to love me in return.  I'm not unrealistic, I realize that love between adults will naturally have conditions... yet the love we have for ourselves should have no boundaries.


I found an article by Dr Tim Ong and this is what he recommends to those who are seeking hearts open to unconditional love:

There are four steps involved in opening our heart to love:
1. Acceptance: That we are worthy of love.
2. Forgiveness: Others and ourselves.
3. Expression: Turning a negative into a positive.
4. Actions: Sharing love with others will help us love ourselves.

Some of these I have been working on, yet Dr Ong explains how to take these steps a bit further to truly put these things into action.


The thing is that I'm not trying to become totally self involved or completely conceited, but I am realizing that I tend to expect too much of myself, being too hard on myself allows others to place unrealistic expectations on me also... and the truth is that if I can't love me, no one else will be able to.

Ariel

A dear Friend suggested a name for my inner-kitten.

Ariel!

Ariel is an Archangel, from the Hebrew 'Lion of God'. Archangel Ariel is known as the Angel of Healing and New Beginnings. I thought it appropriate to you. I found it further enhanced by my thought of having a lioness who purrs at my touch alone and becomes a kitten for her daddy protector. Plus you are a Leo.

I like it! Still thinking on how one names herself, I really don't feel that strongly connected with the name but I love the thought He put into it and how much it screams 'me' :) Plus it is the name of one of my favorite Disney princesses!

Thank you Sir!!

Neko girl photo was taken by the brilliant Marcus Ranum.