Friends... Sisters.

The love between women is a refuge and a escape into harmony and narcissism in place of conflict. In the love between man and woman there is resistance and conflict. Two women do not judge each other. They form an alliance. It is in a way, self-love.
I love June because she is the woman I would like to be.

-The Diary of Anaïs Nin , Volume One

I feel this way about Pixie...  Thank you Anaïs Nin for putting our friendship/sisterhood into words.

Madea Gives Relationship Advice

I agree with this video 100%.

I also have a similar view on categorizing people in my life as Madea does here, about people being in my life being part of a tree.

"If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let - them - go!"

"Some people are meant to come into your life for a lifetime, some for only a season and you got to know which is which. And you're always messing up when you mix those seasonal people up with lifetime expectations.

I put everybody that comes into my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. When the wind blows, they're over there... wind blow that way they over here... they're unstable. When the seasons change they wither and die, they're gone. That's alright. Most people are like that, they're not there to do anything but take from the tree and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at people like that, that's who they are. That's all they were put on this earth to be. A leaf.

Some people are like a branch on that tree. You have to be careful with those branches too, cause they'll fool you. They'll make you think they're a good friend and they're real strong but the minute you step out there on them, they'll break and leave you high and dry.

But if you find 2 or 3 people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of that tree you are blessed. Those are the kind of people that aren't going nowhere. They aren't worried about being seen, nobody has to know that they know you, they don't have to know what they're doing for you but if those roots weren't there, that tree couldn't live.

A tree could have a hundred million branches but it only takes a few roots down at the bottom to make sure that tree gets everything it needs. When you get some roots, hold on to them but the rest of it... just let it go. Let folks go."

~ Madea Goes to Jail

New Friend

New experiences can happen in the blink of an eye. I have had something happen to me for the very first time and I’m still unsure what I think exactly. I have my blog posted a couple different places where I have a profile up, places where I watch/participate on some of the forums/message boards. I know that this blog is my own personal outlet for expression and a place where I “talk things through” so they make more sense to me. That isn’t very interesting to many people. However, I received a message from someone who sincerely has taken an interest in my words, seems to have seen himself in my perspective, and wants to know more about me as a person. At first I thought it was a ploy, to be honest, but after The Reader discussed several of my entries and his thoughts on my expressions…I realized he was sincerely interested in what I had to say. Stunned was an understatement, but (as vain as this may sound) it feels really nice to be ‘seen’.

With everything going on, my family being sick, work being crazy, etc... no one notices me anymore. I seem to have morphed into a faceless nurse that tends to everyone else. It was a surprise to hear from The Reader, but a very good gift from the universe.

The Reader says he can see my heart, the good and the painful, which is refreshing considering I’m having a hard time seeing myself right now. I’ve been so lost since everything has happened the last few months and really am struggling keeping things together. So what he has had to say really means a lot. For now, I am humbled by his words, honored at his attention, and thankful he stopped to ‘see me’.

I’m flattered beyond belief, The Reader seems like a super nice guy and we have a tremendous amount in common. Could our paths be so parallel that friendship is our destination? I would be happy with that. That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be interested in anything more, it just means for right now… I am enjoying getting to know him. One day at a time, that’s about all I can handle right now – it’s all he can handle right now. So at least as far as expectations go, we are a good match. J

So thank you, The Reader, for stopping by to say hi.

New Year, New Outlook

Traditionally my resolutions are more about helping others, improving habits, or focusing more on finding myself. This year, I have one resolution. I whole-heartedly embrace this goal and want more than anything, to be able to accomplish it.

I want to travel as a bird, not carrying anything with me that I don't need. Leaving behind past pain, resentment, grudges, anger, hurt, and insecurities. Soaring to new heights, as each day is a new opportunity to fly.

I need this to cleanse my heart and soul... so that I may be open to real love, new friendships, and everything that life has to offer me. Not just in 2010, but for the rest of my life.

Always Time for Coffee

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes". The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff". "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18 holes. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand".

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked," he said. "It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend."

So... anyone for drinks? ;)

The Whip

I've spent some time lately going through some old blogs, and one in particular has caught my attention again. I think I am in total love with this quote.

On being oneself ~ ""The whip is good for us," she said. "Perhaps it is hard for you to understand that, as you are not a woman. .........

Lay down the whip, and we will attack you, and undermine you, and use your own laws, institutions, and rhetorics to destroy you, inch by inch. Lift it, and we will lick your feet in gratitude.

Own us, dominate us! Enslave us, properly, so that we may love you as women are meant to love, wholly and unreservedly, totally, without thought of ourselves!" She looked at me, tears in her eyes. "Is it so wrong to want to be ourselves?" "

~ Renegades of Gor, pg 157

~ To Quote my dear Friend, DreameeGirl:
There could not be truer words spoken. One may see the whip in many forms, but remembering and reminding a girl of her place at all times. It's true many a slave will take the chance and see if You waver, stumble or even fall. It's not a test she is wishing to create but the need, to know. To acknowledge Your strength, your guidance, Your very own weakness will be seen by on lookers. One is either dominate or they are not, one is either slave or they are not. It is not a role to choose one day and not the next. Live it, Breathe it, Feel it ..Be it...

You enforce and grant the steel, she is but a mere magnet...is she not ?

The whip may be a look, a whisper, a touch...and many more things to each person.

The one thing a girl can assure you is this .... The fire within the belly of a woman may only be intensely fueled by the strong and he whom is not afraid to get his hands burnt, for once she burns paga hot as the books say...she needs totally control, she thrives upon it. Without it she will seek it else where, for she is slave...one whom seeks, needs, mastery!
~ End Quote

I tend to add my own words to posts after I share a quote, but DreameeGirl summed it up perfectly. As much as it could be a literal whip, I don't believe that Norman is speaking of an actual whip. I feel it is that iron hand in a velvet glove that is enforcing buondaries, discipline, order, and enforcing her surrender. It could be a look, the tone of His voice, or even the snap of His fingers. Whatever He choses to keep His girl in line. What happens when he stops? The girl becomes very unhappy and will begin to act out... so how do you fix it then?

Pixie and I have talked about this very topic a lot over the last few years. I think the hardest part is figuring out which should come first... her submission or His mastery. After things have gone slack, I mean. I have written about that before too!

Whisper

Grace made graphics today while she had some downtime at work, one for all three of us (Grace, Pixie, and myself). Grace has become so incredibly perceptive over the last year and a half, two years. Not only did she create this breath-taking graphic for me, but she also found a powerful song to match it. These lyrics made me feel vulnerable. . . exposed. . .

Whisper
Sung by A Fine Frenzy

Running the race
Like a mouse in a cage
Getting nowhere but I'm trying
Forging ahead
But I'm stuck in the bed
That I made so I'm lying

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me still

Eager to please,
Trying to be what they need
But I'm so very tired
I've stopped trying to find
Any peace in my mind
Because it tangles the wires

But if you keep real close
Yeah, you stay real close
I will reach you

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

The sound tires on my lips
To fade away into forgetting

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me

I'm down to a whisper
In a daydream on a hill
Shut down to a whisper
Can you hear me
Can you hear me still

Love

To be brave is to love someone unconditionally,
without expecting anything in return.
To just give. That takes courage,
because we don't want to fall on our faces
or leave ourselves open to hurt.
~Madonna


Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get, only with what you are expecting to give, which is everything.
~Katharine Hepburn

I really like both of these quotes, the message is close to my heart. I think, though, that in addition to loving someone else completely we must love ourselves unconditionally. Otherwise, how can we truly embrace who the other person is? I think that both of these are about very best friends or sisters, not just a Significant Other.

Friends

In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion - the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers. ~ Pam Brown

I am so thankful that this quote is true. There have been days, that were difficult for me fibro-wise, and the thought of friends kept me focused so that I didn't loose my balance and fall... With a true friend, it doesn't matter how far away you are, the time apart, or even the circumstances around the relationship... friends are forever, the heart knows... and doesn't forget.