Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sounds like Life

I’m BEYOND exhausted. I’m in fibro related pain. I’m sleep deprived. I’m emotionally drained and there is still more to do. Dad is getting worse. Work is non-stop. My family is... I just wish I had help, a little more help... some kind of help. Support comes in the oddest of fashions, for example… this song has helped a lot. Its better than nothing.

Sounds Like Life To Me by Darryl Worley

Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy
It’s just a common case of everyday reality
Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
It sounds like life to me

Sounds like life to me plain old destiny
Yeah the only thing for certain is uncertainty
You gotta hold on tight just enjoy the ride
Get used to all this unpredictability
Sounds like life

Man I know its tough but you gotta suck it up
To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy
Sounds like life to me
Sounds like life

Click here to listen.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Being Interesting


He looked on her, intently. He studied her. He gave her great attention. She turned her head to one side, her wrists secured in many turns of the binding fiber, her fists clenched. I knew that on earth many men did not even know their wives. They did not truely look upon them. Never, truly, had they seen them. But a Gorean master will know every inch, and care for every inch, of one of his slave girls. He will know every hair, every sweet blemish of her. In a way she is nothing to him, for she is only a slave. But in another way she is very important to him. She is one of his women. He will know her. He will want to know her completely, every inch of her body, every inch of her mind. Nothing less will satisfy him. She is his property. He will choose to know his property thoroughly.
~Hunters of Gor, page 145

...the slave girl is not simply someone with whom the man lives; she is very special to him; she is a treasured possession; he owns her; he wants to know her; profoundly and deeply; the background, history, the mind, the intelligence, the appetites, the nature and disposition of his lovely article of property; this knowledge, of course, puts her more at his mercy; by making it possible to manipulate her feelings, exploit weaknesses, drop asides, ect., she in the helpless condition of slavery, it gives him more power over her.
~Tribesmen of Gor, page 42


I love this quote, I like the idea of this, but I fear the actual intense "know everything" connection... fear it in a good way. I know that I need a more positive view of myself, but I want so badly to please that... I cannot help but wonder if I will be able to. MathMan and I talk about this a good bit, I am thankful for His patience with me. He tells me that I worry too much, but I'm don't know how to stop. Pixie and I agree that neither of us want Someone to be a mindreader, but at least being interested in hearing what we have to say or what we think, etc. I like that about MathMan... I like that a lot. Yes I want His opinion. Yes I want His views. But He also helps me... anchor myself in a certain sense. Which is a very very good thing.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Whew

Grace and Smokey came up this morning, spent the day taking care of Dad, and worked on the house. When I came home, everything looked great, something good was in the oven, and Dad was resting. So all in all, it went good. I am very thankful for their help, and hope that it allows me to go to bed rather early tonight.

~elana