wtf

Tonight I was looking through tumblr, I hadn't been on there in ages... and I started flagging pictures that made me think or inspired me in some way or another... While I was browsing back through my treasures, taking notes (in post drafts) what thought pattern went with which picture... my brain took a sudden left turn from happy warm fuzzies to dark painful emptiness.  It was so fast I have no idea when it happened or what triggered it.... 

Whenever I mention this shift to others, some chalk it up to the grief process... but its been a while now, shouldn't I be over it?  Or at least over it enough that I can let up on myself?  

Is it my brain that goes down this path of self-loathing or is my heart beyond repair? 

Things have been good lately.  Work has been crazy, I'm getting good reports with my health... and my little girl side has been out a lot lately, I find myself being a sassy brat again!  I thought that part of me was long gone by now.... And then tonight... out of the blue...