Friday, June 15, 2007

Inner Demons


This picture is both comforting and chilling.

A few days ago, I spent time with pixie, she is not only an old friend but someone I consider to be a sister at heart. I also saw someone I have known for years, but met him again in a very different way.

So for the rest of the week, I’ve been torn. I keep thinking about this newly met friend, but am having a hard time knowing if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Yes I know I am over reacting and putting to much thought into things, but those other demons have already been weakening my barriers over the last month.

Keep calm. Stay true to who you are. Take a deep breath. Relax in a bubble bath. Just don't think about it. Color your heart out. Focus on the music. Soak in the sun. Put on the bells that always cheers you up. All of this is wonderful advice but... none of it is working. Perhaps the reason why is because pixie and I have discussed it before, she's totally at peace with it and... part of me is now also. And that terrifies me.

Now, I don't know what I'm more afraid of, if what I felt is real... or what I thought I felt is only my imagination and means absolutely nothing... but a cocky guy stroking his own ego.


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