Emotional Virginity

Emotional virginity was not a concept I was familiar with until recently.

A new friend suggested it and to be honest... it felt so right. I like the thought of having an emotional purity, keeping it guarded until the right One comes along. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a physical virgin but emotionally I've always been shut off when it comes to relationships. Preferring to mold myself into whoever the other person wants me to be. Yes this is natural in a power exchange relationship, but I didn't allow the other Person to get to know who I truly was, so that S/He could make the decision on what S/He wanted to change. I don't disconnect completely, but I keep a very important part of myself at arm's length. I've always thought it was because I couldn't stand the thought of that core part of me being rejected by my partner. Maybe its because, I've known each time that the person wasn't the 'right one' for me.

Believe it or not, I like the thought of that. It's almost like, it doesn't matter what my past is, there is still a bit of innocence that remains. Maybe that's the part of me that secretly dreams of a Dominant Prince Charming.