Crazy BDSM Quiz

So I'm seeing results for this quiz all over the place and thought I would take it.  The results made me giggle a bit. 

You Scored as Submissive.  It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominant person wouldn't be a bad idea.


Submissive                                93%
Experimental                              68%
Masochist                                   57%
Degradation Lover                    54%
Bondage                                     46%
Switch                                         36%
Sadist                                         32%
Vanilla                                        29%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur                25%
Dominant                                      0%

Just by Being You (Halo and Wings)

This song speaks so strongly to my little girl side, whenever I hear it on the radio I almost always cry... This afternoon, as I listened to it while in the shower... I knew I had to share.







Just by Being You (Halo and Wings)Sung by Steel Magnolia
Let's run away Where nothing stands between me and you Let's find a place Somewhere a little closer to a dream And call it a home Where there's no right and wrong And we can be all alone 
Chorus And I'll take off my halo If you take off your wings. You don't have to be invincible Cause I sure ain't no saint You'll always be my angel No matter what you do, Cause you take me to heaven just by being you 
Tell me a secret Tell me things no one else should know Even in your weakness Baby drop your guard just let it go Until everything's exposed And you don't have to feel ashamed Baby just say my name 
Chorus 
When I see you standing there You know it all becomes so clear The way you look The way you touch I need the way you lift me up This will never feel complete Until there's nothing in between And we have brought down every wall And baby, baby, baby lets just fall 
Chorus 
Oh You take me to heaven Just by being you 
Let's run away Let's run away

Kinky Scouts

I have been a Girl Scout forever and a decade, but today while browsing fetlife I found information on Kinky Scouts!  A Kinky Scout Handbook and stitched badges, these are too cute!  I had to share.  These are the badges I would want to collect first *grin*

The Ball-Gag Badge:

The Shibari Badge:

The Spanking Badge!

And my favorite, within a power exchange relationship, the Deep Throat Badge... or rather, the face-fucking badge *grin*

The creative people who made the sash, Jed Phoenix of London, offers amazing fetish wear!  Here is the sash they have developed for fellow Kinky Scouts!

I'm starting to think I would look totally cute as a Kinky Scout!!  Look how adorable the badges look on it!  I just hope I don't have to sell cookies again....

Kitchen Duty

Service submissive vs. Housekeeper. What’s the difference between drudgery and service? What makes your service different than what you can pay for?  

~ Topic provided by Sensual Services

 I'm truly not a lazy girl but I do have an intense reaction when someone tells me he wants me to "cook and clean for him, while giving him as much sex as he wants and never saying no".  I understand that ultimately this is the male fantasy and that if I truly wish to serve Someone this will be part of the deal...  I have written about this before a few times, I tend to sound whiny or pouty. 

I have been in several environments where I end up waiting on someone hand-and-foot while that person doesn't do anything at all.  And then when I am having a bad day where I cannot do those things (because of my fibro), I don't get any help at all.  After a while, it leads to resentment and anger, and those are things that cannot exist between a Master and slave or Daddy and girl.  

I get so frustrated when a guy defines "mastery" as "having her cook, clean, and suck me off". That tells me two things, he is lazy and he has no clue what he is talking about. So naturally I get upset whenever someone defines my surrender n the same fashion.

But I am realizing what bothers me the most, is that while these are aspects of my surrender it is often communicated to be all of his mastery. For the right One, I would take care of His home, especially if He was ensuring that my needs were being met.  But I don't want that to be the ONLY way that I feel His control.  I don't want those domestic chores to be my ONLY acts of surrender to Him.

I know that I haven't exactly answered the journal prompt question, but this is the best I can do right now... considering how touchy this subject is for me. 

If that exchange of power exists beyond the cooking/cleaning/easy sex routine... then I can't exactly let Him starve could I? 

Looking before you LEEP

Two weeks ago, I had a routine PAP smear.  Less than 24 hours after the appointment, I was being called to come back to the office to have a cervical biopsy done.  At that procedure, it was confirmed that I would need to have to undergo the LEEP Procedure, along with some other biopsies, dnc and whatnot -- not only to rule out cervical cancer but to remove my endometriosis (while they are in there, they did it all).  I was terrified!  I prayed a lot, I talked to people who have had several of the things done, and then I took a break.  I disconnected mentally a bit so I could just... breathe.  Its exhausting to put on a fresh coat of paint for everyone and I have very few people in my life (maybe 1?) that I can be completely honest with.  I understand that my Mom and Grace were scared, I couldn't talk to either of them without them bursting into tears or brushing me off completely.  As much as I love Pixie, she wasn't able to talk with me about it either.  Thankfully, Master-J was there and He listened... I will always be thankful to Him for that.  Sometimes it sucks being 'the strong person' in a family or a group of friends.  :)   I think I feared a fibro/lupus reaction after the procedure more than anything.  I really didn't have a fear that it would be cervical cancer or anything, worst case scenario would have been that I gotten a hysterectomy and taken some medication.  

Anyway.  Surgery was successful on Thursday, I go back for pathology reports and results and all that good stuff later on this week. I remember bits and pieces of what happened afterwards. I remember a nurse telling me to "wake up and breathe", I remember a different nurse telling me it was a little worse than the Doctor expected but that he got everything.  


I feel better, but it kind of sank in this weekend that... I was *this*close* to having cervical cancer.  The Nurse that I clearly remember, the one that brought my family in after recovery, asked me beforehand if I had HPV.  No, I haven't been diagnosed with HPV or anything of that nature.  One time I had Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (thanks again for that, MountainMan) but it cleared up quickly with appropriate treatment.  

So far, no fibro/lupus issues lingering behind... except for some respiratory difficulties.  But I've been thinking lately about women who do not get regularly scheduled PAP Smears.  I have went every year since high school, except for last year when I was so sick in the hospital.  So within a few short months I developed severe dysplasia that could have lead to CANCER.  That is some scary shit.. especially whenever you can be tested in a few awkward moments every twelve months.  


So while I was looking around online today, I found this cool webpage that boasts it will send you an email reminder when it is time to get your annual PAP!  How brilliant is that?!  Go HERE and click the link to Sign up for Your PAP Reminders.  


Support the LACE Campaign! 


I'll end up adding this picture and link to my blog :)  


Better safe that cooter-less.  lol   

A Barbed What?!

Yes I love barbed wire, I grew up with it everywhere. I love the look of it, it says home to me. I like how it is strong and masculine yet delicate at the same time.  I have experienced barbed wire in a form of bondage, as cuffs, as decorative touches of rope work around my breasts, etc... I love the thought of barbed wire as a mind fuck, as a reenforcement of control, and how it looks against my skin, biting in...  


Yes I love floggers, heavy thuddy rhythmic swings onto my ass and back.  Cool caress of the material over my skin in anticipation... I love it.  

So in theory, I should love a flogger made of barbed wire... right?

Made by Splinter

Pretty to see, would love to touch but not using it on me. Nope.

Or to use D/s lingo: Red.

You want to use that barbed wire flogger on *MY* ass??

This is Losti, bless her bleeding chunks of ass missing heart.

Oh Fuck no -- Red.

I am serious, I don't mean I will give in if you keep pushing, Light-Red.

I mean I will hunt you down like a dog, shoot you in the head, and strangle you until you are dead, feed you to swine and burn your leftovers dead -- if you touch me with that fucking thing,

STOP SIGN-RED.

Hope that clarified things :)

Headless FuckSlut

This afternoon I was reading kaya's blog and she posted something that took my made me stop in my tracks!  Not sure if it was because I was horrified or secretly curious.  Objectification is something I used to embrace to the point of completely disconnecting emotionally.  But this picture brings it to a whole new level. 

There is a hole in the floor that holds her head down, completely still and trapped.  Not only that, but she is exposed, presented, and held captive for Their pleasure use abuse and Heavens knows what.  There is not a female there, she is not "present" -- she is just an ass and cunt.  Literally!  

Look at the environment, it adds to it I would imagine... dirty on the floor... masked Man using her... an audience - can she hear them laughing?  breathing?  discussing what they are watching?  Maybe they are encouraging the Mystery Man to use her harder/deeper/faster? 

But then to make it worse (or hotter maybe?) there is an inferred camera on her face under the floor so that every aspect of her is presented for Their view, amusement, and she is utterly exposed in every way.  She cannot disconnect because everything is out there in the open.  Makes me wonder if they are commenting on her expressions, her sounds, etc... Is there a microphone down there to project her whimpers, moans, cries, and panting?  Or maybe there isn't and that adds to the helpless feeling?  



Anyway, it got me thinking.  Still unsure what I think or how I feel about it.  I'm a little to claustrophobic to be in there myself, but there is an alternative for those who would like to experience it, practice it, and NOT cut a hole in the floor. 


Pick up this little beauty at the Bondage Blog.  It will be easier on His knees and also be a lot less cleaning (because of not having to get up all the sawdust).  Not to mention it would put "the cunt and ass" (not female participant) more to eye level for your audience's enjoyment :) 


Thank you Kaya for your discovery!!

Struggling... A Butterfly's Story

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.

Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily.


But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time.

Neither happened!

In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings.

It never was able to fly.

What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been.

And we would never fly.

~Author Unknown

While we all have struggles and trials, I truly believe that I am going through a process of emerging... yes things are hard right now... yes I am struggling in different areas of my life right now... but it is forcing strength into all of the parts of my world... and when I come through on the other side, I will be stronger and able to fly.