Love of a slave

I have not had a relationship in which I was truly emotionally connected to the Person I ached to serve/please. Pixie and SirD have that kind of connection and it is beautiful. I will be honest, I dream about having that kind of bond with Someone one day. Many say that love in a Master/slave relationship will ruin things... because either He will love her and forget His place as her disciplinarian, his feelings for her overshadowing his responsibility of correcting/molding her. Some say that her love for Him can blind her to focusing totally on Him and will take away from her obedience. I can't imagine how love could do anything but make that connection stronger...

I found this picture online and fell in love with it immediately. I think that this is what happens, when a slave truly loves the One that masters her. And when He loves her in return...

...the love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave. With nothing less can she be fully, and institutionally, content.

(Magicians of Gor, page 31)

"The love slave is still slave, you see," I said, "and perhaps more so than any other." "Yes," whispered the woman. "She is held in her bondage by the strongest of all bonds," I said, "that of love.'

(Mercenaries of Gor, page 318)

"I exist for you," she said, "and it is what I want, to please and serve you." She was much in love. She wanted to give all of herself to Marcus, irreservedly, to hold nothing back, to live for him, and, if need be, to die for him. It is the way of the female in love, for whom no service is too small, no sacrifice too great, offering herself selflessly as an oblation to the master.

(Magicians of Gor, page 27)

"The life of a female slave," he said, "is a life wholly given over to love. It is not a compromised life. It is not one of those lives which is part this, and part that. It is a total way of life, a total life."

(Mercenaries of Gor, page 435)

13 Offerings

13 Offerings ~ March 29, 2010

*1 ~ I offer you any remaining 'No's'
You will hear no more of them from me

*2 ~ I offer you my choices
I trust what you will defer to me

*3 ~ I offer you my body
To mold as you desire

*4 ~ I offer you my wisdom
To draw from as you need

*5 ~ I offer you my heart
I trust you know my reserves

*6 ~ I offer you my passion
Do delight in my silence and again in debate

*7 ~ I offer you my future
To map as you see fit

*8 ~ I offer you my pridefulness
In your service it serves me not

*9 ~ I offer you my sorrows
I believe you will help me heal

*10~ I offer you the worst of me
The best is on its way

*11~ I offer you my magick
To meet your many needs

*12~ I offer you my family and those dear to me
I hope you will use them in gaining all of me

*13~ I offer you my dedication and complete loyalty
You now have all of it, every bit of me

As posted on fetlife by ReVampt pet

I'm not sure how I feel or what I think reading this forum post. I'm torn between some of the words she uses and can relate at the same time. Something about this post touched me, but I don't know if it's a good or bad way. I don't know what I think or how I feel reading this, but... I had to share/save it. So I posted it.

horoscope

June 24, 2010. Leo:

You might finally schedule the play day that you have wanted. Don't hesitate if you find time to relax because the window of opportunity is narrower than you realize. However, there's no need to stress about a missed opportunity if you cannot make something fun happen right away. Instead, change your attitude and enjoy yourself, whatever you are doing.

Unfortunately today was supposed to have been filled with work but instead I am home sick. Nothing fun going on, just a lot of resting.

Ouchie

Shingles.

Are.

A.

Pain.

:(

Life ain’t not having problems... It’s about being able to deal with the ones you got. ~ Layfette on True Blood

One Step Closer to You

This song brings me to tears every time I hear it. It it is about something that I desire in a relationship, the need to meet half way... the burn to remain connected... the drive to stay 'together' in a world that does it's best to rip happiness apart. Yes, I want this someday.

Right now, Pixie and her SirD are finding it... and its beautiful. So for right now, I dedicate this song to Them.

I love you sis.

One Step Closer to You

Sung by Michael Franti & Spearhead

I've been down for far too long

Till my faith was nearly gone

I never knew somebody just like you

Could be a friend I could call my own

Till I let go of a broken heart

I let go to an open heart

I let go of my broken dreams

I let go to the mystery

And I believe in the miracle

I believe in the spiritual

I believe in the one above

I believe in the one I love

And take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I've fallen down

My heart says follow through

And I take one step closer to you

I never meant to hurt you no

And you never meant to hurt me too

But it seems like we always do

And even though I'm scared sometimes

If I ever see you falling down

I'll be the one that's there for you

So I let go of a broken heart

I let go to an open heart

I let go of my broken dreams

I let go to the mystery

And I believe in the miracle

I believe in the spiritual

I believe in the One above

I believe in the One I love

And take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I’ve fallen down

My heart says follow through

I take one step closer to you

I'm walking; I keep on walking to you

I keep on walking to you

I’m walking, I keep on walking to you

I’m walking and I’m never going to stop now

I just take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

Even when I’m fallen down

My heart says follow through

I’ll take one step closer

I’ll take two steps closer

Just take one step closer to you

I just take one step closer to you

And even when I’ve fallen down

My heart says follow through

I take one step closer to you

6 weeks

It was six weeks this Saturday. Next weekend is Fathers Day. I guess I'm doing ok. I still miss him. But at least I'm not waiting on the phone to ring right now... I haven't called his phone in almost a week. I don't know what is harder, calling to hear his voice or waiting on him to call me.

I still miss him... I'm understanding now that I always will... and that's ok.

Ticks... and other little things that trip us up.

Our body chemistry is always changing and evolving (not in the sense that we are turning into monkeys but as in growing/shifting). I'm not sure if it is from hormones as we get older, medications we have taken, or perhaps environmental influences. Whatever it is, I am learning that ticks find me absolutely irresistible. I can walk to the mailbox and back and find at least two ticks crawling on me. Ticks used to creep me out but not anymore, I guess I am getting used to finding them either on Molly or my clothes/skin. lol Thankfully they don't bite me, just like to go exploring I think. Anyway, I got to thinking about what they do and how that can happen by other things (not real ticks but figurative ticks) in relationships and personalities.

I am guilty of this; I think we all are in some way. Little things have bitten part of my heart or my mind and the more that I would linger on it, the more power I was giving it. Then, in a short time, that tiny little thing would suck the life out of my trust or my relationship or my confidence. In hindsight, of course, I realize now that I should have spoken up about whatever was going on or whatever I was thinking. Each time this happens, I promise myself that I will be faster to voice my concerns/questions/fears – but that has also backfired on me... So many people become unsettled or lose confidence when additional reassurance is requested or “their authority” is “questioned”... even though it could have nothing to do with Him directly it will soon fester into something that cannot be ignored.

I don’t know, this started out making sense but now I’m not so sure. I guess, putting it bluntly, is that I need to embrace the fact that I need the right to ask questions, voice concerns, or ask for reassurance/explanations. I know that my service/submission must be total but I’m not really an advocate for blind faith. Sometimes I need an intellectual connection that encourages me to grow and become more trusting – not just mumble “yes Sir” around the drool because he doesn’t want me thinking at all. Sometimes it is the little things that can make/break a relationship, because the little things are often overlooked... by one or both partners. Much like a tick can latch onto someone or an animal and bring disease/infection, so can those little things that are disregarded...

So Small

I've heard this song a thousand times, but this morning, catching the video, touched me in a very new way... It really speaks to me and how I've been struggling lately... it gives me hope that the dawn is coming... I just have to make it through the dark..

It was a month today. The nightmares have stopped but my fibro has gotten worse. Grace's recovery is going well but my job is beyond overwhelming... I'm just totally drained, emotionally physically and mentally. This song helps, the words are so true... Sometimes those things that trip us the most, are so small in the end...

So Small, by Carrie Underwood

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