Games

Monopoly
Canasta
Clue
Go Fish
Horseshoes

These are a few of the games I like to play.

Emotional games are not something I enjoy.

To be totally honest, I don't understand what happened. As I said in an earlier post, I had a friend step in and say that he wanted to encourage me during my self-discovery... to be honest, I am wanting to to learn to open up more, be less afraid, and positive about expectations. I think that my desires were ok but I didn't pick the right One.

At times, I think I am the one playing the emotional games. As much as I hate to admit that I may be doing these very things I hate in others, I'm starting to wonder if its true. It is a bit hypocritical for me to be so unforgiving with others, yet want patience with my own flaws/hangups. I just wish I knew about my hangup about wanting someone to be there to bounce things off of. I know that I deal with things by verbally walking through them, and for others that can be very draining and I don't want to be that way at all.

Argh!!!

I am so damn frustrated... and don't even know where to start. I just feel so alone trying to handle this emotional evolution myself and... am at a loss of what to do next.

Its not that I am looking for an easy way out but right now I just really need that person who will keep me honest. Not that I am a liar by any means, but when you are trying to work through past hurts and self-doubts etc that I need someone who won't let me focus on the bullshit and "make excuses" instead of dealing with it. I need to face things completely, honestly, even though it makes me extremely vulnerable. Maybe that "little girl" inside needs someone to "protect" her during it?