An Intimate look at Intimacy

Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability…nothing deepens intimacy like the experiences that we share when we feel flayed, with our skins off, scared and vulnerable, and our partner is there with us, willing to share in the scary stuff. -Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt, The Ethical Slut

There are different definitions of intimacy. The immediate meaning of intimacy that comes to mind is being physically intimate with one’s partner. However, the more important interpretation, to this girl, is the development and continuation of emotional intimacy between a girl and her Sir. Yes, sexual intimacy is fun, but is about instant gratification which quickly fades once breathing returns to normal. There must be an attraction, wantonness, and physical need for the sexual act to be explosive.

However, emotional intimacy is much more delicate. It takes patience, dedication, and devotion to not only develop but maintain. Many different things can poke holes into the emotional status of a relationship, from basic mistakes to thoughtless decisions, this level of intimacy is extremely fragile.

To keep physical intimacy hot and fresh, both people enter into it as strong individuals coming together for sexual enjoyment. Confidence makes both people more attractive to the other person. But the ironic thing about emotional intimacy is that as fragile as it is to establish and persevere, both people must enter into it with defenses down. Completely vulnerable and defenseless, open to one other is the only way two people can connect on that level that defies separation.

So one can imagine, Sir, the damage those thoughtless decisions can do to this relationship. In one moment, all of that work can be undone by abandonment, a lie, a selfish act of forsaking one’s partner... Suddenly, when a person tries to reconnect to one’s partner, all that pain comes rushing back... To drown that lonely heart within that cries for the depths of submission it experienced before.

This can be fixed, but it takes time. A lot of time and even more dedication... from everyone involved.

Special Thanks to Sensual Service for the Journal Prompt.