Daddy ~ Please!

Daddy please, do something!!

Don’t just sit there and don’t make me go through this alone! You don’t understand Daddy, she might not be ok and nothing you can say will guarantee she will be!! Please Daddy, do something!

I’m scared, Daddy. I don’t want to loose her, I can’t loose her. How can I work without her? She’s the only reason I still have my job, she covers for me not only when I have family stuff going on but also when my FM acts up so badly I can’t do much. But not only that, she makes sure that I eat. She helps me keep my laundry up. She’s one of my very best friends, my very best vanilla friend. I feel like she is family, and I know that we aren’t kin but… in my heart… we are. I’m scared she doesn’t know what she means to me. I want her to know how much I love her and how much she has touched my life. What if she doesn’t know?? What if I’m not able to tell her?

No, I can’t go see her, I don’t think I can handle it. Seeing her laying there, tubes, IV’s, the oxygen mask… I can’t. And the last thing she needs is for me to fall apart in her hospital room. She told me she needs me to be strong so that her husband doesn’t loose it. So I’ve been strong when I call. But she doesn’t know that I fall apart when we hang up. I call everyday at least twice, and I also call her husband to see if he needs anything. I need to tell her… how can I tell her? The phone?! Dadddddy -- I can’t tell her on the phone BECUZZ once I get upset no one can understand a word I’m saying on the phone. Duh. Plus I need to remember her laughing, not the sound of her crying. I know she will cry, she cries every time I do.

DON’T PATRONIZE ME ~ quit saying that everything will be the way it will be, I know that I’m not stupid Daddy. I’m sorry Daddy I know you can’t fix it… there isn’t anything you can do to help her through this. Just help me through this. I know I seem like an adult most of the time but I need help. And now I won’t have it. Just do something please Daddy please do something!

God I’m so selfish. That family could be loosing a wife, a sister, a mother, a grandmother, a great-grandmother, and an aunt… and I’m worried about myself. They are loosing a column of their family and I'm worrying about not hearing her ringtime again... Daddy please... Don't make me go through this alone, Daddy please!

I don’t have anyone else I can trust 110% of the time. Pixie is there, of course, but she’s all the way over in another state. My parents don’t handle it at all when something is wrong with me, and Gracie (my sister) doesn’t do well either. I don’t want to be by myself again, I’m not strong enough to be, not right now…

Daddy… are you there?

Daddy… where are you?

Daddy?!