Repossession

I wish it were possible to approach and Ex and get things back that were lost in the relationship.  I would go to D, in a heartbeat, and get back pixie's self esteem, unbroken heart, hopes and dreams, and most importantly... I would get her confidence.  

I love you pixie so very much, you will make it through this... you deserve Someone amazing who can see what He has when He has you... not after.

Would be Nice

I seem to always the adult.... its exhausting to be the one to always handle everything.... I don't mind being an adult, but it would be nice to either have support or at least have a way to share responsibilities....  


When its late at night and there is a car outside, I have a fantasy of having a Partner who would say "elana, go back in the house and I will see what is going on and/or take care of it."  That would be nice sometimes... 
   

Unconditional Love in 2011

"Living consciously involves being genuine; it involves listening and responding to others honestly and openly; it involves being in the moment." - Sidney Poitier


I have been giving this a lot of thought and I want to live consciously this year. This means that in order to do this, I will have to open my heart to unconditional love. Yes I love my puppy, my family/friends, and my job... but I want to learn to love me again, unconditionally.  Only then will my heart be ready to love another and allow him to love me in return.  I'm not unrealistic, I realize that love between adults will naturally have conditions... yet the love we have for ourselves should have no boundaries.


I found an article by Dr Tim Ong and this is what he recommends to those who are seeking hearts open to unconditional love:

There are four steps involved in opening our heart to love:
1. Acceptance: That we are worthy of love.
2. Forgiveness: Others and ourselves.
3. Expression: Turning a negative into a positive.
4. Actions: Sharing love with others will help us love ourselves.

Some of these I have been working on, yet Dr Ong explains how to take these steps a bit further to truly put these things into action.


The thing is that I'm not trying to become totally self involved or completely conceited, but I am realizing that I tend to expect too much of myself, being too hard on myself allows others to place unrealistic expectations on me also... and the truth is that if I can't love me, no one else will be able to.