How long did it take for you to obtain your collar? What process did you go through for your collar? - Thank you Submissive Journal Prompts for this topic.It always strikes me as funny when people refer to 'modern thoughts' as 'Old Guard'. When I began exploring my surrender, I was honored to be part of a very real very underground Old Guard group. I was allowed to attend, learn, and train with them for a little over a year before I became active in my local munch and discussion groups. To be very honest, I miss the Old Guard Group, the munch folk not so much. I didn't know the group I was originally involved with was "Old Guard" until much later. We referred to ourselves as "like minded friends" and the core beliefs were respect and honesty. I'm going into all of this to say that I never heard of 'stages of collaring' until the modern group. To me, it is like being a little bit pregnant. You either are or you aren't. Period.
Are you familiar with the terms "phases of collaring" or even worse, "a collar of consideration"? If not, please brush up on the lingo by peeking over here. Nothing bad against the group or those who feel this is a necessary step in building a power exchange relationship... but it's just not for me.
The first time I heard of a consideration collar was when a submissive friend of mine (back in the day) Red was given an orange ribbon by "the Master considering her" - she explained to me that the collar marked her as his if he decided he still wanted her later. She served him faithfully, they had sex, they had S/m interaction, everything you would do with a "real Master" she did with him -- he just got to see other people too. After the newness of their relationship wore off, he moved on to someone else with his ribbon of consideration and she was left alone... But she was single just like before, he didn't really owned her, he just kind of... leased her for a few weeks. I'm trying my best not to be all judgey and I don't hold it against Red or Reds-Friend - I just know deep down, it is not for me.
Even to this day, I loathe the term "consideration collar". I usually do not along well with those who wish to put me in a collar of consideration. To me, it brings up the image of being placed in lay-away so He can continue to browse around the store, constantly looking for something better, and if nothing else catches his eye - then maybe he will go back and purchase me. I know that sounds a little crazy but it truly infuriates me. In my experience, those who wished to engage me in such a "relationship" use it in a way to keep me as a back-up plan - just in case he doesn't meet someone he likes better.
I have also met boys who use a "collar of consideration" to keep the power in the relationship. Because the only way he can "make her submit" is by constantly reminding her that she isn't "worthy of his real collar". (That also tends to leave me going, 'huh?')
About ten years ago, this guy I was seeing really hurt my feelings by saying that he "didn't need to piss on my leg" to be my Dominant. I didn't understand it then, but I do now... Sometimes people put so much focus on the "steps of collaring" and the ceremonies and contracts and whatnot - that they forget how a relationship needs to build, develop, and strength before One can truly own another... Hmm maybe there is a difference in ownership and collaring...
I sincerely feel that if I am learning about someone, and he is learning about me, I don't need a collar of consideration is necessary. But then again, I'm from the mindset that He should date the girl and learn of her slowly, before tying a piece of floss around her neck and making her "earn his REAL collar". Well if I'm truly going to put all my cards on the table, I sincerely feel that a collar is just decoration - that it is a physical symbol of ownership but unless my spirit and my heart are truly possessed by Him and my body belongs to Him... just saying that "I am collared" doesn't really do much for me.
I don't want to "be collared" - I need to be owned.
No comments:
Post a Comment