Reassurance

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind.

"Pooh!" he whispered.

"Yes Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw.

"I just wanted to be sure of you."

Sometimes we all need to make sure the other person is there... I think it is human nature.

So how is it a bad thing?

Kajira

"What does it means to be a kajira, to you?"

This girl does not believe in the ability to be a ‘no limits slave’, she believes in moments of slavery. Some would say that a slave and a kajira are the same thing, when there are major differences in the mindset of each girl. This girl has experienced offline training as a submissive, slave, and a kajira. She is by no means an expert of anything, yet she has learned the subtle distinctions of each ‘classification’. However, this essay is on what girl feels is meant by being a kajira.

To girl, being a kajira means that the girl truly puts the desires of Another before her own, even things that she do not desire become options for His pleasure. It does not mean she has no limits, because everyone has limits. Yet her desire to serve is stronger than her fear of whatever that limit is. The girl has been in a situation where she was being taught the ways of a kajira offline, yet was commanded to do many things the girl did not like... she obeyed, because the fear of disappointing Owner was most powerful than the distaste of the request. Kajirae are not miracle workers and are still human, sometimes a girl needs additional support or guidance to make her way through the task He desires... If her heart is truly pure in her need to obey, and her mind is open to Him, then an unfailing Master will be able to lead her through it. At least that is this girl’s belief. That calm feeling that comes with keeping one’s mind focused on Him, being proactive to His needs, and remaining honest at all times... those are all things that a kajira embraces. A slave often thinks "you can take her there, but these are a girl’s limits" whereas a kajira is more likely to have the mindset of "absolute obedience will please Master". (Then again, there seems to be a distinction that comes along with being a Gorean Master and a D/s Master.)

A kajira must also be aware of what is her business and what is His business. When in a relationship, this is the part that this girl struggles with each day. She aches to understand in an attempt to calm her own fears, so she tends to either ask too many questions or reach out too much to Him... and it begins to be seen as being clingy or an attempt at manipulation... which breaks the girls heart because it is the last of her intentions.

Serving at the Inn has taught the girl that service is a constant evolution, growing from each day to the next. There isn’t a stopping point where someone can say "Whew, now girl is a kajira", there is that consistent feeding the fires within, striving to be more pleasing, finding new ways to serve...

This is something that one feels relates somewhat and she wishes to share...

A slave's Prayer

Allow me the strength to answer questions I can't fathom.
Allow me the spirit to know His needs.
Allow me the serenity to serve Him in peace.
Allow me the love to show Him myself.
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Him.
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Him.
Let me be able to show
Him each day my love of my service to Him.
Let me open myself up too completely belong to Him.
Let me accept my punishment with the grace of a woman.
Let me learn to please Him, beyond myself.
Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely.
Give me the strength to please us both.
Permit me to love myself, in loving Him.
For it is my greatest wish,
To make His life complete,
as He makes mine.

~Author Unknown

Special Thanks to a Friend for providing this Journal Prompt

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,

I have not been a good girl this year, but I suspect that you know that already. It was not in my intention to be this way, sometimes it just happens...

I’m not asking for much this year for Christmas, and I hope that you can see my heart to know that I really wan to be a good girl. Please bring me peace of mind and the ability to find the calm place within myself. That’s all I want this year, Santa, if you can help me out... I promise to be a better girl next year.

~girl

Big Girls

Some of these pictures are breathtaking, I'm not sure what it is exactly but... they are just beautiful! Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to big girls, but... I don't think that is what is so captivating in these first two pictures.

Now this one, I think is funny. I joke about it, that some men aren't able to 'handle' a big girl ~ and it is true! I don't think it is because of the actual weight... but unless someone is comfortable in his own skin, being around someone who is at ease with her body will make them very uncomfortable. Insecure women attract insecure men. Confident women attract confident men. At least... I hope! lol mmm I do love a confident Man...

And you know a girl has to be proud of a fat ass! I'm trying different things to more of an ass (because I'm mainly hippy) ~ but I do love my handful.

It is definitely spankable, among other things...

Thank you Glitter-graphics for the images!

A slave's prayer

A slave's Prayer

Allow me the strength to answer questions I can't fathom.
Allow me the spirit to know His needs.
Allow me the serenity to serve Him in peace.
Allow me the love to show Him myself.
Allow me the tenderness to comfort Him.
Allow me the wisdom to be an asset to Him.
Let me be able to show
Him each day my love of my service to Him.
Let me open myself up too completely belong to Him.
Let me accept my punishment with the grace of a woman.
Let me learn to please Him, beyond myself.
Grant me the power to give myself to Him completely.
Give me the strength to please us both.
Permit me to love myself, in loving Him.
For it is my greatest wish,
To make His life complete,
as He makes mine.

~Author Unknown

Being Safe

A ship in a harbor is safe.
But that is not what ships were built for.




You cannot control the wind,
but you can adjust your sails.
~ Yiddish proverb

Both of these quotes say a lot... and speak to me strongly right now. I don't want to be emotionally safe in my own little harbor anymore... I want to sail. If I don't take a risk, I ... cannot move forward. Something tells me that I am at the point where my path is shifting and... I pray each morning for the courage to follow it.

Looking Good Naked

Journal Prompt: Self-awareness, self-acceptance.
Post taken from a discussion started on FetLife about self-acceptance. The responses were overwhelming, so many women are burdened down by what they feel they should be, should do, need to look like... it broke my heart to hear from them all and took me back to when I thought the same things. I just hope that this helps... it is a one-day-at-a-time type thing. :)


Hello Everyone. Just curious if anyone watches that Carson show on the Lifetime channel called ‘How to Look Good Naked’? I must admit, at first I thought “oh great another show to dress big girls in black” but after watching it... it truly touched me. Now i cannot watch it without crying a little. The focus of this show isn’t about “looking skinny” or “dressing right” it is about complete self acceptance. It is a powerful program and I really encourage every woman, not just big girls, to watch it. But... some of His words have really helped remind me that I am beautiful, just as I am. Just having a strong desire to share it with others today and ask that ya’ll (who are able too) look him up on On-Demand or the internet or something. Its worth it. ~girl hell yeah I look good naked. (You'll get it if you watch the show!)


I think my favorite part of the show is right after Carson has the woman tell him what she hates about her body, then he brings out a line of beautiful women (in just bras and panties). Then Carson has the woman place herself in the line, where she thinks she should be, based on size of said offending body part. Like, place yourself between the two women whose hips/thighs/bellies/etc is bigger/smaller than yours. Anyway, the woman always places herself towards the end and between the bigger women... and Carson pulls her from the line to move her down where she would be, based on size, closer to the small size of the line. That part always chokes me up because so many people see themselves not as they truly are, but as their mind has painted them to be. If this makes sense? Anyway, my light came on while I was in college working in a Lane Bryant. I had to measure women for undergarments and try to coax everyone into “at least being measured, so many women wear the wrong bra size”. At first it was for sales, but it ended up being so true!! The right size bra makes ALL the difference in how one’s clothes fit. But, this group of drag queens came in one Saturday morning and had me measure them all for bras. I’m completely open minded so I wasn’t uncomfortable, but they couldn’t stop bragging on my body! The curve of my hip, my natural breasts, the shape of my back, the length of my legs, the dozen shades of golden brown and greens in my eyes – i was totally humiliated and flattered beyond belief all at the same time. That was my “oh wow... thats me” moment looking in the mirror while the Queens redressed me, petted me and totally turned me into their life size barbie for an hour. I was so touched because they didn’t want anything from me, no sex, no money, no nothing but just... to help me see the me that they seen. I used my employee discount to get them all amazing deals~ it was the absolute least I could do for those men who changed my life forever. Since then, my weight has gone up and down, but one thing will never change... I will always see the girl they introduced me too, come hell, high water, or liver spots. Because, damn girl, I do look good! ;) ~girl


Around this time of the year i tend to ask myself questions that I love and hate at the same time. Those things that force me to truly look at myself, my actions, my habits, and my thoughts. One that has helped a lot in this area, is asking myself: If I were my best friend, my sister, my mother, my daughter, or some other woman was in my position... would i treat her the way I am treating myself? Why not? How would I treat her better, be more positive, encouraging, etc? If you are owned, would your Owner appreciate how you are treating/talking about His/Her property? If you are unowned, why are you not keeping your future Owner’s property safe until He/She arrives to claim you? These are the things that help me, I hope they might help others? The following paragraph was taken from a post to a new friend, that after second thought, i thought that others might need/want to read also. I struggle with competing voices, I think that we all do. I try to make a mental shift when I find it happening, and "put in a happy tape" (its what I call my good memories), and I focus on them until the "bad tapes" (or the negativity) is far from my mind. Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and look myself in the mirror, and say "good morning pretty girl, today you have my complete support." ~girl

Path to Slavery

The path to slavery is so narrow that two cannot walk upon it at the same time, hence why the slave must crawl behind. ~Unknown

There is something about this quote that I love and something that I hate, just as strongly.

I love the imagery it uses to convey the meaning I took, that two people cannot walk equally, head back, eyes on the road, side by side. The slave, if she desires to be such, must be willing to follow. Not only follow, but in such a way that she is at a crawl. That means that the slave must have the faith to abide by His guidance, without seeing the path ahead, only knowing that He is going before her... guiding her... bringing her through... is it easy? Hell no. But then again, nothing worth gaining is easy. The further along the path, perhaps the more it narrows, and the more important the boundaries are.

I think it also speaks volumes about the relationship, that to ensure they remain on that road, their positions must stay constant. I am not saying that He cannot have a bad day, He can, He can also be vulnerable ~ as they are both human... But that doesn’t mean that she should distrust Him completely during those times, maybe those days are when He needs her unwavering faith the most?


I have seen what happens when the girl decides to start walking with Him a million times, there is only room for One to be in control and it usually ends up being the girl who was like “enough of this crawling shit, you don’t know where you are going!” She might as well have said, “I’m walking, move over!” Those “relationships” seem like such a farce because He ends up being lead around by his dick, as if it was His leash.

This is where i tend to get a little hypocritical because I do not agree with the popular mainstream thought of “slave equals complete domestic service and Master means never doing any chores ever, not even taking out the garbage”. Yes, some arrangements may work like that, but it will not be something I could be happy in. I have met so many guys who are just so fucking lazy that they think “I’ll get a slave, that way I don’t even have to wipe my own ass” and its not a quick-fix for having a second mama come take care of him. But that is another rant.

Another issue that tends to get my temper going is when those guys mentioned in the griping above state that a slave cannot ever be a wife, because marriage is between equals and slaves are for animalistic breeding/caging. Those kind of guys, I tend to want to take away the TV/DND/fan-fiction until they wake up and smell the way they probably stink. A marriage is nothing more than a legal way to ensure that someone will be taken care of after you are gone. Yes it has MUCH more meaning to me, but lets be realistic. Legally, this is all that it states. It doesn’t guarantee anything in today’s society, except that you will need a lawyer to break up.

Can a Master love a slave? Yes. Can a Master marry His slave? Yes, if He wishes. Will either cause Him to weaken in His discipline/punishment of her? If He is going to weaken, it will happen even if these two things do not occur. So to avoid both because it might “trigger” that weakness, that is ridiculous. Then again, maybe I'm just... being bitchy?