I Undress for You

I Undress for You
Written by SoulSlave

It's just another evening
or just another morning
it's just another hour
and it is nothing new

clothes fall to the floor softly
bare skin is hot beneath them
the air is thick and heavy
as I undress for you

~

Unleash on me your passion
Strap me in each position
And make me feel your power
the way you always do

There's no need to be gentle
I crave your satisfaction
I long for your instruction
as I undress for you

~

There's no place you can't touch me
No way you cannot use me
I'm yours in every aspect
Just what more can I do

Your ring's upon my finger
my soul's in your possession
my body wears your collar
and bore your child for you

~

Fresh memories burn through me
your voice commands me firmly
until I screamed in ecstacy
and came the way you knew

I long for more already
with thoughts that make me giddy
drunk in anticipation
as I undress for you

~

There's noone who can take me
Noone who can fulfill me
there's noone who can fuck me
the way you can and do

I need to feel you on me
Just tell me where you want me
My body knows no boundries
As I undress for you.

~

Cum Hither

Cum Hither
Written by SlowLane

Cum hither like a snake
as I stroke you awake
your eyes open bright
as you see the the first light

The suns unforgiving as it shines of your face
The red on your skin from the marks I can trace
you awake again tied, to this same piece of earth
as I mold my new slave and witness her birth

A journey through the woods and a journey through your mind
As I mold you and shape you to be one of a kind
The one that I want, the slave of my choice
The one that comes kneeling at the sound of my voice

You open your eyes as I stand above you
and whisper one more day and then you will be through
The collar will be earned and the journey back shall start
hand in hand, step by step, together, never to part

your eyes are now bright
your ropes are still tight
you've slept through the night
and see me in a new light

The light that shall forever be bright in your heart as I lead you home.

I think the third paragraph is my favorite section, I love the erotic imagery.

Beauty and Brains

I believe things happen for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right. You believe lies so you eventually start to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things all apart so better things can fall together.
~Marilyn Monroe

Total Honesty?

A Master to a slave-girl: "In your weakness and need, and love, in your honesty and truth, you are a thousand times stronger, and greater, than such caricatures of women, than such travesties of women, than such pseudomales and facsimile men, denying themselves and their feelings, holding themselves rigid, not daring to feel or be themselves."
~ Renegades of Gor, pg. 243

People are quick to remind a girl that she is not allowed any secrets or omitted truths from an Owner. But sometimes those same people do not take into consideration that we, much like they, are merely human. We all have times that we aren't exactly proud of our needs or our behaviors. We all grow weak, surrender to emotional needs and yield to those moments of fear that can be so intense our education/training goes out the window.

The need to be open, exposed, raw to that Person we hold in such high regard, as if He will save us somehow. At that moment, He is quick to throw up his hands to keep her at bay, because that is a little TOO honest. I don't know how to do it half-assed, I don't understand what to exclude and what to lay at His feet. If you want honesty from me, you have to be willing to take it ~ good and bad. I also believe if I have to screen what I reveal to Him, then He isn't one who should be in control of me. . . in any fashion.

Then again, Marilyn Monroe said it best:

A topic I enjoy posting on, here is a previous entry.

Whatever happens... happens

So much is going on right now, so many things in the air. . .

decisions to make and choices to consider...

all dependent on test results.

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Stained Glass Windows

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,but when the darkness sets in,their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

~Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Stained glass windows are absolutely breathtaking. Gorgeous details placed onto the glass, created to adorn any buildings windows and also control the light allowed into the room. I do believe that this concept applies to people. Not the painted glass, exactly, but this filter of natural beauty and inner strength that has the ability of shining through the darkness, lighting up the bad times, giving hope that things will get better soon.

I've always loved stained glass windows for this purpose, and this quote reminds me of why.

For more information on stained glass windows, click here.

Friends

In loneliness, in sickness, in confusion - the mere knowledge of friendship makes it possible to endure, even if the friend is powerless to help. It is enough that they exist. Friendship is not diminished by distance or time, by imprisonment or war, by suffering or silence. It is in these things that it roots most deeply. It is from these things that it flowers. ~ Pam Brown

I am so thankful that this quote is true. There have been days, that were difficult for me fibro-wise, and the thought of friends kept me focused so that I didn't loose my balance and fall... With a true friend, it doesn't matter how far away you are, the time apart, or even the circumstances around the relationship... friends are forever, the heart knows... and doesn't forget.

Interesting

"Bombing for peace was like humping for virginity."

Happy Birthday

I so wish our lives weren't so busy...that so many miles did not separate us and that time wasn't flying by so fast.

I wish we were granted more days like today and that we could spend it together ....and share this special day.

You are the example of optimism and resiliency. You have taught me the value of faith in times of doubt, the need for strength in moments of adversity, the importance of kindness and love always. You are a woman I love, respect and admire the most.

I love you sis

Another year

Our lives improve only when we take chances
-- and the first and most difficult risk we can take
is to be honest with ourselves.

~Walter Anderson

Hello Twenty-nine. This day has been blessed with laughter
and fun, I have high hopes for the rest of my year.

Things are definately looking up, not only has Grace and Yankee
bought a new bouse, but Pixie is moving back!

Deep Breath...

This time, I know I gave 110%, I guess he just... changed his mind afterall. Which is His right to do so. I opened up to DaddyBear, like I haven't truly opened up in years. I was brutally honest about myself, the good things bad things and was even honest about the things that I normally try to draw attention away from. He knew of my fears, my intense needs, my deepest secrets, and even the details of my fibromyalgia. I still don't understand how someone can take that level of interest, be that available and one day just... become completely unresponsive. No calls. No emails. Nothing. I should be used to this by now, eh? I should have known, my gut knew that something wasn't right... I just wanted so badly... to be wanted. His level of interest -- not only in me but my thoughts, everything... I know that I don't need validation or approval, but... it was nice while it lasted.

Lets say for a second that He comes back, piss-pour excuses about getting behind in his bills, having to split his attentions -- bullshit. It doesn't matter. I made Him a priority while he kept me as an option.

This song isn't for him, its for me... Because it was ok that I opened up, confided in him, brought him close to my heart. Its ok that he couldn't handle it or something equally lame, but I was the 'me' I remember... before the pain and nightmares, the girl who truly believed that love is real and is stronger than any horrible memory and that Daddy could fix everything with a whisper or a touch... I've missed her, and I want to be that girl again.

Almost Lover
Sung by A Fine Frenzy

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy
I thought you'd want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should've known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you're gone and I'm haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you'd bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

More Comments and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

Summer Romance

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone. ~The Notebook

Just because it isn't going to last forever, doesn't mean a summer romance shouldn't be enjoyed. Go ahead, jump in with both feet, love fiercely and strongly...

I went in with both feet... yes it hurt when it ended, but I wouldn't trade the freedom I have been left with. Not only did I learn a bit more about myself, but I enjoyed my brief time with him.

Just thinking...

It just clicked.

Listening to Grace's blog again tonight as I work yet another 3rd shift at work. For some reason, an ex keeps drifting through my mind. Not the bad things, but the good times I had with him. I can honestly say that I think that is the last time I truly enjoyed dating, going on dates, etc. He truly understood how important movies are to me, what they can communicate and how much I need that sometimes... Marsiglio was his nickname, and when he was sober, he was a lot of fun. I hope he is sober now, for his sake.

While thinking about Marsiglio, I've realized why I have not released my anger with MtnMan. After all, what Marsiglio put me through was much much worse. At least MtnMan was sober, never hit me, and they both cheated... a lot.

I just discovered that I blame MtnMan for my fibromyalgia.

He didn't give it to me like one would transfer a cold or something, but he did bring down my health slowly... keeping me so tore up emotionally that I couldn't recover. Pelvic infections, the flu, bronchitis, abscesses – my immune system didn't stand a chance. So what do you get when you add that kind of emotional abuse with walking pneumonia, follow it up with yet another case of the flu? You get Shingles. What happens to an exhausted broken immune system once shingles gets a hold of it? That's right, you develop fibromyalgia.

At least when Marsiglio made me sick (with bronchitis and pneumonia), he had the manners to be nice to me and ensure I became healthy again. Not MtnMan-- he just took it as an opportunity to claim “emotional abandonment” and bed hop his way across town.

Even now, when I think back on Marsiglio, I smile. I treasure the good memories with him, choosing not to focus on only the bad. Once he sobered up after we had both moved on, he did man up enough to call me.... apologize and get to know me again, sober. Which was nice.

What has MtnMan done since we broke up? Stalked me, peeked in my windows, sent me tons of mail proclaiming his love for me... yet he never apologized, he never understood what he did to me. And as he continues to call me from his current wife's cell, I see that he never will.

But at least with Marsiglio, I have good memories to keep me company on nights like this. In a quiet house, listening to music I loved way back when. Not that I am missing him exactly, I just find myself hoping to meet someone else that I have so much in common with-- that being with him will be... fun... If that makes any sense?

Quiet

An odd sensation, not sure how to best describe it. Nothing is wrong, exactly, I just don't feel myself. Part of me, the part that was expressed through this blog, is silent. I wouldn't even mention it if I had become more reflective, but I just feel quiet. It's not that I am disconnected, I guess I'm just tired... Its been a long rough couple of weeks, emotional roller coasters and intense responses have drained me. Its not a peaceful quiet, yet not a worrisome quiet either.

Even my coloring has changed, shifted from being something to help me think to being something I do while watching/listening to a familiar movie... Not thinking. Focused on the sound of the crayon, watching the wax color the otherwise dull paper.

Stand Back Up... by Sugarland

Stand Back Up
Sung by Sugarland

Go ahead and take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
I'm laid out on the floor, but I've been here before,
I may stumble, yeah I might fall,
Only human aren't we all?
I might lose my way, but hear me when i say,

I will stand back up,
You'll know just the moment when I've have enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid, and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

I've been beaten up and bruised,
I've been kicked right off my shoes,
Been down on my knees more times than you'd believe,
When the darkness tries to get me,
Theres a light that just wont let me,
It might take my pride, and my tears may fill my eyes,
But I'll stand back up,

I've weathered all these storms,
But i just turn them into wind, so i can fly,
What don't kill you makes you stronger,
When I take my last breath,
Thats when I'll just give up,

So, go ahead to take your best shot,
Let 'er rip, give it all you've got,
You might win this round but you cant keep me down,

'Cause I'll stand back up,
And you'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up,

You'll know just the moment when I've had enough,
Sometimes I'm afraid and I don't feel that tough,
But I'll stand back up.