Thursday, March 11, 2010

Something's Gotta Give



Something's Gotta Give
Sung by LeAnn Rimes

Jenny got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year

Thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
But it still ain't here (hey!)

(Instrumental)
Alright
(Instrumental)

She's been lookin' for Mr. Right so long
But all she found is Mr. Wrong
and That's the pitts

She's drawn a line that she won't cross
Her and time are facing off
She says something's gotta give

(Chorus)
Somethin gotta give me butterflies
Somethin gotta make me feel alive
yeah,
Somethin gotta give me dreams at night
Somethin gotta make me feel alright
I don't know where it is
Yeah but something's gotta give

Friday night she had a date
Cell phone junky half hour late
That's the biz baby

She's riding out this twist of fate
She's had all that she can take
She says something's gotta give

(repeat chorus)

I swear
There's got to be a meant to be for me out there
Somewhere someday
I'm gonna find someone, somehow, someway

Instrumental
alright
Yeahehe


Jenny's got a job, a cat named Jake,
31 candles on her birthday cake
Next year

She thought by now she'd have a man
Two car seats and a minivan
She says something's gottta,
Something's gotta,
Something's gotta give

I don't know where it is
Yeah but something's gotta

I don't know where it is
Yeah but something's gotta

I don't know where it is
Yeah but something's gotta give

Oh somethings gotta give

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Intentions

Today was a rough day for me. Something happened that has caused me to question my desire for a power exchange relationship. Am I serving for the wrong reason? I want to serve because that is where I am happiest and feel the most like myself... I truly do wish to make my Owner happy and please Him. And yes, on some level I know that the skew of responsibility is asymmetrical – depending on which issues are focused on. But I’m not the kind of girl that is only trying to get out of ‘all decisions’, to kick back and ride my Master’s coat tails when it comes to making any choices or taking any responsibility at all. I have known people in the past that were submissive for those reasons, but I’m not that kind of girl. If anything, I find more choices to be made in service! Putting what will please my Master over what I want, because I feel that certain acts become an extension of service to Him.

Then again, on a certain level there is an amount of expectation when it comes to taking care of one’s partner. How can the girl serve Him if she is not at her best? While I want a Master who will ensure that I am taken care of and that will hold my best interest in His mind... I don’t want a Master
just so He can take care of me.

Is it selfish for me to need someone to be strong for me when I can’t be? And not to assume too much, but I want that person to the Man I have given control of myself, my choices, etc. Or is that too much to ask? Or does that make my intentions of surrender selfish/wrong?

I’m still thinking, I don’t feel like I’m expressing it very well or my thoughts. But it is something to think about, I think.


Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Boundaries Analogy





I like to color, it relieves my stress and helps me relax... sometimes it helps me think. I like how the coloring pages have those bold thick boundaries, so I know what is ok to color and what is not. Yes I could color outside the line if I wanted to, but then I could not help create the picture the Artist had in mind to start with... Sometimes I think my personality and my submission is like the crayons, that when matched with the right 'picture', could have the potential to be something beautiful.. something 'right'.


The best way to describe what I am looking for is with an analogy. I am not an artist, but I love to color. I can spend hours coloring, listening to the radio or watching a movie, using my imagination to bring to life the picture on the page. However, I don't like to draw/color my own designs. I feel lost and overwhelmed without those bold lines to serve as my boundaries. Perhaps I focus on the ride shade of blue for the eyes and don't have the image of the whole character in my head before I color. I do my best to stay in the lines because I want to honor the picture the illustrator intended it to be. That is what I need in a relationship too. I need someone to have the big picture in mind, setting those boundaries to ensure that I am focusing on the right ways of bringing color (or service) and not getting overwhelmed with the process - yet still allowed to bring 'my touch' to it.