"Masculinity and femininity are complementary properties," I told her. "If a man wishes a woman to be more feminine, he must be more masculine. If a woman wishes a man to be more masculine, she must be more feminine." ~ Explorers of Gor
This is one of my favorite concepts. I truly believe that changing the environment in which the behavior occurs can alter a behavior. I do this kind of thing at work, its amazing to watch how accurate it is. However, a recent conversation with my best friend has caused me to look at this through the power-exchange window. I would like to examine this concept along with a Dominant/submissive relationship. Once the relationship and guidelines are established for the relationship, which comes next? Does he take the reigns and exert his mastery, causing the woman to fall at his feet in submission? Should the girl kneel before him in submission, igniting his mastery? The two concepts, her kneeling and his mastery, are domino effects that have strong dependence on one-another. But, which should come first?My own experience states that there are days in which it will fluctuate between the two people. In the past, I have had days that I had to force myself to kneel and offer up a choice to the one (I felt) wasn’t holding up the dominant’s end of the deal. Yes there were also days that I had to be forced to my knees by some skilled mastering and brought back to that mental place that allows my submission to flow forth without obstruction. Looking back... doing a, b, and c to get the responses I needed in the relationship is what held me there long past when it was over. Maybe that manipulation is what drug out the relationship past our ability to part as friends? If the submissive steps up to the plate and demonstrates complete submission to the dominant and he responds, is she topping from the bottom? Or merely maintaining her role in the relationship without regard to the circumstances? If a dominant requires that the submissive does a, b, and c so that he can exert responses x, y, and z, how is he maintaining control? Is it unrealistic to require that a dominant hold onto the control all of the time, come hail or high water? Dominants are people too, and we all make mistakes. How can we, as submissives, expect mercy and guidance for our mistakes without granting the one we serve the ability to make them also? Growth occurs when we learn from our mistakes, and I don’t want a dominant that is stagnating in his own development.Hmm… Author's Note: This entry is assuming the dominant is male and the submissive
is female, although this debate will work no matter the gender of either person.
