Tears

It has happened again.

At least this time, I felt something was wrong... Perhaps I am finally learning to see the signs? Yet it doesn’t hurt any less...

Ultimately I know it will be for the best. Things with MrFamiliar made things extremely complicated! Especially the way that MathMan was pushing me to explore things with MrF. I have stayed confused this month, between MathMan encouraging me to invest in the relationship and MrF telling me that he doesn’t mind I have MathMan in my life, as long as he [MrF] is #1.

This morning’s horoscope:
It's time to move past the hurt of painful memories so you can be more available to experience the joyful possibilities of today. But this doesn't mean forgetting about what previously happened; rather, it's about stepping outside your personal history so you can see your life from a more cosmic perspective. Avoiding your emotions isn't a viable strategy because you'll end up feeling irritable without knowing why. However, letting go of old attachments allows you to live more fully in the present.

I think I am growing a bit selfish in my old age. With this brief experience with MrF, I have reassured myself that I must have an emotional/mental connection with Someone...

Plus I don't think I realized how lonely I have been...

Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave)

A familiar Friend asked me to look into this song... because it makes Him think of what I have gone through as an adult. I have to say, that it feels so familiar...

Fading Like a Flower (Every Time You Leave)

Sung by Roxette

In a time where the sun descends alone
I ran a long, long way from home
To find a heart that's made of stone
I will try, I just need a little time
To get your face right out of my mind
To see the world through different eyes

Every time I see you oh I try to hide away
But when we meet it seems I can't let go
Every time you leave the room
I feel I'm fading like a flower

Tell me why, when I scream there's no reply
When I reach out there's nothing to find
When I sleep I break down and cry, cry yeah

Every time I see you oh I try to hide away
But when we meet it seems I can't let go
Every time you leave the room
I feel I'm fading like a flower

Fading like a rose, fading like rose
Beaten by the storm
Talking to myself, getting washed by the rain
It's such a cold, cold town

Oh, it's such a cold town

Every time I see you oh I try to hide away
But when we meet it seems I can't let go
Every time you leave the room
I feel I'm fading like a flower

Every time I see you oh I try to hide away
But when we meet it seems I can't let go
Every time you leave the room
I feel I'm fading like a flower

.

--
* The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes *