Domestic Distress

my Dad has been sick lately and I have been taking care of him, cleaning the house, cooking, fetching his iced water, helping my Mom with her daily things, and pretty much juggling a million things in addition to my job. Normally, my Dad does most of the domestic chores (such as cooking and dishes), while Mom and I help with other things, like laundry and picking up/vacuuming. This breakdown of chores is because Mom and I both work, while Dad is at home. Since he has been sick, 99.9% of the chores have fallen to me, even the part Mom used to help with. Oh and I have to take care of Dad too, checking on him, getting things for him, etc. I don't mind, I know he needs me right now. I know Mom is upset with what is going on with him, but to be honest... I'm getting damned tired.

This experience has confirmed to me that I have no desire/intention to being a domestic slave EVER again. Yes I did it once, a half dozen years ago, but that was because I was convinced that was all I have to offer Someone. I know differently now. Please allow me to say this loud and proud, working AND handling housekeeping shit is for the birds! I understand that housework must be done, but I don't understand the concept of only ONE person doing it. It isn't right, it isn't fair, and it isn't for me. Does this make me unslavelike? Probably, but I am being very honest and I think that is the most important part of serving Another.

Now that I think about it, there is a major difference between being One's slave and One's servant. Yes I desire to be under the control of Another, and if He chooses to have me clean His house, I will obey. But I don't feel it is something to be expected automatically. I used to, but I have been through so many partners that took advantage of that fact, that I don't want to be used in that fashion again. To me, service is about making His life easier/better, not about enabling His ability to be lazy and not do a damn thing. Part of ownership, whether it be house or slave, is responsibility. So wouldn't One be responsible for upkeep, maintenance, etc of the item in question? Wouldn't that include his house? For example, Grace is married to Smokey, who was domestically lazy. If she didn't get up and make him a sandwhich, he would go hungry. That is ridiculous! I don't want to do something for Someone because without me He would starve/parish, I want to do something for Him because it pleases Him and I because I want to do it.

I do wish to please my Owner. I do wish to serve my Owner in the manner that will please Him. But I have come to realize that I do need certain consideration when it comes to my condition. Some girls may be able to be a very happy house mouse but I don't think I would flourish in that situation. I am a people person, and there are some fibro-days where I would not be able to do the chores required to keep a spotless house.

It is not that I am lazy or feel that I am superior to cleaning. It is just that with my fibromyalgia, my Owner will have to decide what He prefers... a clean house without having to lift a finger... or a willing eager girl in His bed. Because I lack the energy to do both.