Ariel

A dear Friend suggested a name for my inner-kitten.

Ariel!

Ariel is an Archangel, from the Hebrew 'Lion of God'. Archangel Ariel is known as the Angel of Healing and New Beginnings. I thought it appropriate to you. I found it further enhanced by my thought of having a lioness who purrs at my touch alone and becomes a kitten for her daddy protector. Plus you are a Leo.

I like it! Still thinking on how one names herself, I really don't feel that strongly connected with the name but I love the thought He put into it and how much it screams 'me' :) Plus it is the name of one of my favorite Disney princesses!

Thank you Sir!!

Neko girl photo was taken by the brilliant Marcus Ranum.

to Snoop or Not to Snoop

So, the scene - Dom and sub have negotiated specific relationship boundaries. They are monogamous and there is no room for outside play or relationships. They are not poly. The sub suspects the Dom of, if not outright cheating, at least talking to someone else, possibly leaning in that direction. What do you believe constitutes the way the situation should be handled from the sub's perspective?

Why does the girl feel He is cheating? Is there evidence to support the fact that His interests are elsewhere? Or does she feel insecure in her own ability to please Him, and convinced herself that He is still searching? Or maybe the Guy is just dense and doesn’t realize that His toying with others is hurting his primary? Cheating, although wrong, is not the issue most of the time it is a symptom of bigger problems in a relationship.

I work very hard to try and discover the reason behind my desire to snoop. If I cannot figure out what it is I need or am looking for, I will address it directly with the One I am in a relationship with. Lets be honest, if I cannot be direct and honest with someone then why am I letting Him control me?!

I am the kind of girl who will ask permission to address something bluntly with Him, and then ask for guidance because of this feeling of distrust that is coming between us. After that conversation, if I am still convinced that something stinky is going on, it is up to me to decide to trust Him or not. If I make the choice to trust Him, then I stop questioning Him. However, if I decide that it is something I cannot do, I have no other choice than to end things.

I do not snoop. Period. I have too much self-respect (and a temper) for that. No offense is meant to you snoopers out there, but I don’t play that cat-n-mouse game. Anything that is discovered (or isn’t discovered) during the act of spying will not be seen in the right light and everything will become a tool that the snooper uses to dig herself deeper into the hole. When you go looking for dirt, you will always find it because that is the keyhole you are looking through.

I have learned the very hard way that if I cannot trust my Partner for one thing, then the more important things should not be trusted with Him either. If I cannot believe that someone is honoring our agreement of monogamy, then He will not respect our decision of limits. And as my own personal pet peeve, a cheating Partner is putting my health in jeopardy, by sexually fooling around with someone who has heavens knows what. Not to mention what being with someone you cannot trust does to your mind. If I sincerely believe that He has crossed that line into cheating, then he is not worth the risk of my sexual or emotional health.

To address another issue brought up in this discussion, I do not think it is a double standard for a Master to have access to my conversations without allowing me the same in return. That is as different as night and day. You are correct that there can be no untruths between Master and slave. An Owner does not keep notice of my interactions because He doesn’t trust me, it is to help Him guide me. How can a Man be in control over someone when He doesn’t know what is going on? The choice of seeing every word I type is up to Him, but it has to be for the right reasons. Do I want to read every word that crosses His computer screen? No, I don’t. That will take my focus from Him and my service to Him and put it on how He interacts with everyone else. If that makes sense?

Taken from a discussion on FL,
posted is my edited response.

Manners and BDSM

It seems to me that manners seem to be longing in most BDSM relationships. Why is it that "please" and "thank you" are not used by Masters when ordering their slaves? i would think some of the reasoning might be because they shouldn't have to say please, but in polite modern society shouldn't we all?

For those with young children in their midst - Do you say please and thank you around your children? Will they learn manners if you don't?

Just curious what others do..

I love the saying, "Etiquette is outward facing, and protocol is inward facing."

Manners are HUGE for me. I serve because I need too, but that smile and “thank you” from an Owner reminds me of my focus. . . to serve Him.

In my humble opinion, showing respect is not limited to just a slave and it does not question One’s ability to maintain control. Those who are so caught up in the wording of a sentence, and make judgments based on those misconceptions. With all due respect, people either get it or they don’t. If someone doesn’t understand that someone who says ‘thank you’ is still a Master, then he or she just doesn’t get it.

Being brought up in a small town in the South, being polite is a sign of self-respect. Which is probably why Sir/Ma'am comes to my lips easily and often, even with vanilla friends or someone who is just helping me in general. I think that is why this is such an issue for me. So if a Guy doesn’t respect Himself enough to say ‘thank you’ or ‘please’ at times, why should I respect Him enough to call Him ‘Master’?

Granted, my Owners in the past have not always say please or thank you. But I will admit that I had stronger responses to Those who did, because an iron hand can have a velvet touch sometimes. It doesn’t make the hand less rigid or defined. Besides, I whole-heartedly feel that the intensity of the request does not need to be done in a harsh loud voice. Its like that expression “True power whispers, it doesn’t need to yell.” So a please or thank you will not make it more of a ‘request’ when the underlying power communicates it is an order. Plus ‘that commanding whisper’ throwing in a ‘please’ can be a most delicious mind-fuck...

As far as it having an effect on children within the relationship: Using manners together as a family unit (and with others outside of that unit) will teach your daughter that etiquette is important no matter who or where you are. Children are sponges and cannot help but absorb their environment, as parents it is a priority to make sure that includes positive aspects of childhood, like being polite.

Then again, I tend to side with the ‘nurture’ side of most things. :)

Elana's slightly edited response to
an interesting group post/discussion on FL.

Responsibility

Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it.
You remain responsible forever, for what you have tamed.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince

I love this picture, the peaceful rest that comes from having One you trust completely in control. The ability to relax next to Him, happy just to touch Him, the calm that is produced from focusing on obedience and pleasing Him.

I like this quote and I dislike this quote.

I do think that everyone should not take certain decisions lightly, and that when in control of another, things must be thought out thoroughly. I have never understood the desire to keep a person at home instead of working, but then the complaint of “little money coming in” is voiced almost immediately after. Or on the flip side, the angry stabs of “He is not making decisions!” coupled with non-obedience. I think it all boils down to people who are not happy with themselves cannot be happy with someone else.

But at the same time, one cannot just up and quit one day. Where does that leave your partner? Especially when the One who decides to 'stop' is the One who was in complete control. You guided your partner to this level of dependence and fed her need of your attention, so it is your responsibility to take her back to an appropriate level of independence. It takes two people to keep things alive and fun, just having adventurous interests in the bedroom does not mean that both are off the hook as far as keeping things fresh. I don't think that many Owners understand how intensely ownership hits a girl, that it isn't something she can just 'snap out of' and go back to being Princess Barbie.

When I began this post, I had more to put down. . . but my fibro isn’t allowing me to remain here long (and the pain is distracting my thoughts) so I think I’m finished with this quote. :)

Lonely

I've been kind of lonely. Thing is, I have been dealing with a major fibro flareup for several weeks now. The pain is so intense sometimes, that every little thing is difficult. I cry a lot, not only because I'm hurting but also because I can't rest. And then, when I am beginning to pull out of it, I realize that I'm not as sensitive and can run my fingers over my shoulders or something... That's when I start to miss being touched. Not sexually, just... touched. I know part of a natural response to chronic pain is a sort of emotional roller coaster, but I am never prepared for the touched-starved feeling that follows. It leaves me very vulnerable.

I'm really not crazy. Most of the time I am level headed and I don't open up easily. Maybe that is why being this... emotionally raw is so unsettling?

Love to be your Last

Love to be your Last

Sung by Clay Walker

If I had it my way.
This would be the first time that you made love.
I'd be the first man that your hands touched.
But we'd both done our share of living.
Takin chances we were given.

I've never been big on looking back.
I don't care if I'm your first love.
But I'd love to be your last.

If I could do it over.
I'd have waited for this moment to give my heart to you unbroken.
But if our mistakes brought us together.
Doesn't really matter whether, we were saints or sinners in the past
I don't care if I'm your first love.
I'd just love to be your last.

All I know is what I see when I look at you.
And all I see is what I'm feeling down inside.
And all I'm feeling is the feeling that I finally got it right.

When I wake up tomorrow.
I'm going to throw my arms around you.
Thank my lucky stars I found you.
Cause I know your heart has so much more than any man has touched before that.
Nothing matters more to me than that.

I don't care if I'm your first love, but I'd love to be your last.

The Final Inspection

The Final Inspection

The soldier stood and faced God,
Which must always come to pass,
He hoped his shoes were shining,
Just as brightly as his brass.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To My Church have you been true?"

The soldier squared his shoulders and
said, "No, Lord, I guess I ain't,
Because those of us who carry guns,
Can't always be a saint.

I've had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough,
And sometimes I've been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.

But, I never took a penny
That wasn't mine to keep...
Though I worked a lot of overtime
When the bills got just too steep,

And I never passed a cry for help,
Though at times I shook with fear,
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I've wept unmanly tears.

I know I don't deserve a place
Among the people here,
They never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.

If you've a place for me here, Lord,
It needn't be so grand,
I've never expected, or had much,
But if you don't, I'll understand."

There was a silence all around the throne,
Where the saints had often trod,
As the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgment of his God.

"Step forward now, you soldier,
You've borne your burdens well,
Walk peacefully on Heaven's streets,
You've done your time in Hell.

Author Unknown

bitchiness

Go ahead... I have a shovel and
plenty of room in the back yard.
Yeah, its been that bad lately.

Lets just say that the sweet soft-spoken girl I used to be has been kicked out by a 'shovel toting body dumping do not sass me if you know what is good for you' bitch. The worst part is that I don't even give a rat's ass if anyone else doesn't like it. my focus is either ball up or shut up.

Its not that I am just short-tempered or in a bad mood. And to be honest, I’m unsure if it is the seemingly constant muscle pain/stiffness... or the return of being dizzy, shaky, and queasy the majority of the time... or perhaps it could be the never ending hot flashes that last all freaking night. So that I cannot rest because the sweating pouring off of my entire body completely wears me out even further... I don't know what it is, but something is wrong. I think the worst part is the splitting migraines that fill my head with so much pain I cannot even think. No matter how obedient I am to doctor’s regimes, massive amounts of expensive medication I take, or how honest I am with everyone - I cannot find a primary doctor who is able to see past my body to see my symptoms, or who knows enough about fibromyalgia to realize that something is wrong.

I am adjusting to major medication changes and trying to manage these severe fibro flares . . . I just want to be back to normal as soon as possible.