To be completely woman you need a master, and in him a compass for your life. You need a man you can look up to and respect. If you dethrone him it's no wonder that you are discontented, and discontented women are not loved for long. -- Marlene Dietrich
"The two share a deep, profound, vulnerable emotional connection where the man makes her feel safe, protected, and validated, the way a loving dominant does, and her vulnerability, submissiveness, sexual surrender, and nurturing love and acceptance nourishes him to life. They share a beautiful, cathartic intimacy."
This is what I desire....
So a few nights ago I stumbled across this article, What To Expect When Dating A Woman Who’s Been Single For A Long Time, and it made me think about how many of those things are true for me and how these might come into play within a D/s relationship. The article lists things like she enjoys alone time, she has protective walls in place, and she's not used to having help but she will embrace it. I think if I were making a list for submissives who have been unowned for a long time... especially about myself... I think I would list some of the same things but maybe one or two different ones.
1. I am not disillusioned or bitter, I am cautious. No one wants to believe that a functioning D/s relationship is possible in today's world more than I feel it is. I need to trust you before I submit, surrender is too intimate for me to jump blindly.
2. As much as I ache to surrender... I'm scared of it. To quote the article, I've been "keeping my emotions in check" for so long and been protecting myself, taking care of myself, that the walls that I've used to do those things need to come down before I can really let you in... and I know that. I want that. But there isn't a match switch that causes them to collapse... and then once the walls are down, I need your guidance to help me reestablish that I'm ok again without those walls... that I can trust you to take care of me while I'm vulnerable.
3. I need a certain amount of alone time. I love to read and have develop ways to self-soothe... I am uncomfortable being up under someone 24/7 or having someone up under me. If that is something you desire and we get along well, it will take time to get to that point. I'm not saying that I don't want any contact, I just need the ability sometimes to read or netflix or blog for a half hour without fifty "wut u doin" texts.
Just a few thoughts...
