Earth Day

I’ve never been the kind of girl to hug trees and raise hell over pollution, but I do have a great amount of respect for Mother Earth and believe that our environment shapes who we become. Both our emotional/mental environment and the physical one we exist within. I was brought up on a farm, learned early about the cycle of death and rebirth into another resource. I have weeded more tomatoes, picked more beans, shucked more corn, slopped more hogs, and moved more cattle than I even care to think about. Earth day always meant a day of appreciation for the world around me, a time of thanking God for how he allowed our farm to flourish to meet our needs.

In April 1995, I was in Washington DC for a journalism conference when I was 15, representing my state among college freshmen (even though I was a sophomore in high school) from across the entire country. It was my first time being away from my family (at something other than Girl Scout activities/camp). I had a ball. Then two days happened that forever changed my world.

April 19, 1995: We were touring the CNN building in DC, watching as reporters relayed information throughout the channels, phone lines, and via faxes. Everything was so busy and everyone knew everything going on at that exact moment! Suddenly, it was completely silent. A deafening quiet that echoed loud in my head as we struggled to realize what had just happened. The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in downtown Oklahoma City had just been bombed. 168 people died, including 19 children under the age of 6! Under the age of six! More than 680 people were injured… I didn’t think there was that many people in my entire town, I surely didn’t know 867 people – yet that is the total number (counted for) whose life had been taken or injured. It would be years later before I realized that the spread of the damage went beyond the farming town I was brought up in. Watching the destruction on the prompters, hearing everyone take flight in a million ways to find out what had happened, the entire city of DC changed in those few minutes... Bomb sniffing dogs, metal detectors, helicopters, armed military guards, police offers – you name it, they were there. Earlier that week I had been able to breeze into the Smithsonian, but the next time I attempted to go it took almost two hours to get through security.

April 22, 1995: The morning was warm and bright with sunshine, there was a different air among the people filling the Mall. Yes there was the security measures but those gathering had a different purpose. Earth Day XXV was beginning! Live music, thousands of people picnicking, dozens of tents educating others about Earth Day and various ways to save Her. The morning of the celebrations truly reminded me of Home. Gathering at the Court House with vegetables and fruits, fellowship after Church, and coming together for local football games. I believe in those moments, we were truly one world.

Earth Day was the total opposite side of the coin from the bombing. The two extremes have never left me, and each Earth Day as I offer a prayer of gratitude for what I have in my life, I also pray for those whose world will never be the same. I cannot rejoice in the miracle of one, without feeling the loss of the other.

I am His...

Maybe it is the weather warming up...

Maybe it is the cool front coming after...

Maybe it is where work is really picking up...

Maybe it is because my mattress is becoming more 'broken in'....

Maybe its because I have been out of a pain blocking medication for almost two months...

Maybe it's just my fibromyalgia... which doesn't require an explanation or reason to take possession of my body.

Either way, I'm hurting. Something is different this time. My joints burn on the inside, like acid is chewing away at my tendons, muscles, and joints. I can't think of another way to describe it. I can barely think anyway. Stiffness, muscle cramps, charley horses -- the searing pain doesn't allow me rest. My back, legs, chest muscles, arms, feet, and hands, nothing is safe. I am just floating along in a cloudy haze, drained -- physically, emotionally, and mentally. Once upon a time, it was rare to see me shed a tear... right now I am a frequent weeper. A commercial on tv, a moving passage in a book, a tender moment observed in the community... and I cannot help myself. Before I even realize it, my cheeks are streaked and my face is damp, salty tears cling to my lips as if begging my body to pull itself together.

Fibromyalgia is very jealous, vengeful and filled with rage. Its wraith has no mercy, its intensity knows no bounds. One way or another, fibro will have my single focused attention it revels in. My torment is his obsession. My tears, his prize.

Right now, I am His... whether I like it or not.

I don't heart ladybugs!

I used to think that ladybugs cute. I thought they were colorful friendly lucky and adorable. But right now, I am sick of them. I live out in the country and the front part of the house began as a ‘ladybug wonderland’ because they would linger on our porch for a while. But today, during spring cleaning, I realized those horrible little creatures have taken over the front part of the house!

Whenever someone says ”ladybug” everyone thinks of this. ------>

<---------- Only I know the truth!! Those little monsters are more like this!!

Something about me attracts those little demons, they walk up and down my arms, land on my body, and am being stalked by about a dozen of them. No matter what I am doing outside, within a few minutes of being in the yard the demonic red creatures begin hassling me.

Yes I feel a little for using a vacuum cleaner attachment to gather and dispose of a swarm of these animals, but on the other hand I am proud of myself for not doing something more drastic. But you can best believe that I will be looking into a solution to this problem... quickly.

my Hero!

A couple well known rumors/legends regarding ladybugs.

In France, if a Ladybug landed on you, whatever ailment you had would fly away with the Ladybug.

(No such luck, I’ve had a blue-million ladybugs on me over the last 14 months and my ailments are no better.)

If a Ladybug is held in the hand while making a wish, the direction that it flies away to shows where your luck will come from.

(What about if they are sucked up in a vacuum cleaner? Would that void your luck?)

In Belgium, people believed that if a Ladybug crawled across a young girl's hand, she would be married within a year.

(I have this happen multiple times a week and I am still single.)

In the 1800's, some doctors used Ladybugs to treat measles! They also believed that if you mashed ladybugs (ewww!) and put them into a cavity, the insects would stop a toothache!

(Lady bugs taste NASTY! They are bitter and stink. No I haven’t eaten a lady bug but one flew into a glass of water one time and someone I knew drank it without seeing it! He gagged and coughed for almost forty minutes!)

During the Pioneer days, if a family found a Ladybug in their log cabin during the winter, it was considered a "Good Omen".

(These days, that is called an “infestation”. See "hero" mentioned above.)